"Maybe this time we'll get it right."
– via sevenwordstory // twitter
~*~
Andrea Russett
The next day, I was sitting on my bed, crying my eyes out. Kian had gone MIA. He'd not updated anything on any social media, he hadn't called me or texted me or anybody else. I asked Jc, but Jc didn't even text me back. I was worried and nervous, but nothing could change what happened.
I sighed and wiped my eyes, rubbing mascara all over my face. I got off my bed and changed into a large t-shirt and some shorts, along with my Nike shoes. I put my hair in a messy bun, then grabbed my phone.
"It's okay, you can do this," I told myself in the mirror. I forced a small smile, then left my apartment room, and went out to my car. I got into the car and sat there for a moment, debating on actually going to Kian's place. Eventually, I talked myself into it. The drive was not long, nor was it short. I arrived and went to Kian and Jc's floor. I awkwardly knocked on the door, scared to see Kian's expression when he sees me.
Awkwardly enough, Jc opened the door.
I stared down at my feet.
"Sorry I didn't text back. I've been dealing with Kian, who refuses to talk to me. Figured it only made sense we didn't get in contact." He mumbled, "he's in his room if you want to talk to him."
I took a deep breath and looked up at him.
His eyes widened as he saw my face, "gosh Andrea, you haven't slept have you?"
I shook my head slowly, "I'm going to go talk to Kian."
He nodded understandingly, "go ahead. I'll be in the kitchen or something."
Pushing past him gently, I made my way to Kian's room. I peeked through the crack, surprised to see him sitting at the edge of his bed, scrolling through something on his phone. His hair was messed up and his eyes were bagged.
I slowly pushed open the door, causing Kian's head to quickly turn to look at me.
His eyes scanned my whole body, then came to look at my face. His expression showed pity and guilt, then quickly changed to anger as he must have remembered what I did with Jc, without his knowledge or approval.
"Kian," I whispered, then walked in, shutting the door behind him.
"Please, please don't," he whispered back.
Tears streamed down my face again, but I didn't hold them back. I let them flow wildly. I sat down beside him, a foot between the two of us. "Kian, I'm so sorry. I was intoxicated last night, yes. I was with Jc, yes. However, I did not mean for him to end up on top of me and for him to kiss me. I got drunk, to forget your name. He got drunk because he wanted to make me feel not alone. I'm so sorry Kian. I am in love with you, really, I am. And when I was drunk, I only remembered your name. It was you who I remembered. It was you who wouldn't escape my mind. I tried though, and I couldn't get you to leave my thoughts. I try to let go of you, but I can't. Please, I'm so sorry."
His chest moved outwards, then inwards as he took a deep breath. "Andrea, you completely and utterly made me feel worthless, and you didn't even have to try. It was that easy for you. I'm like jell-o in your hands. I keep slipping, and nobody can catch me. I mean, how can I possibly sleep when I just keep falling, while you love Kenny and kiss my best friend? It feels like you intentionally tried to hurt my feelings."
"I'm sorry," I choked on my tears, "I didn't mean to make you feel that way. I'm guilty, 100%, I admit to it Kian."
He smiled a little, "God Andrea, you suck at apologies."
"When I'm around you, I lose the words I want to say, and I forget my train of thought. I become so stupid when I'm with you, I forget my own name."
"Poetic, it's cute," he muttered, "I want to forgive you Andrea."
"Then do it."
He shook his head, "it's harder than that. Apologies are meaningless. Actions, they speak louder than words."
I took a deep breath and removed his phone from his hands and set it down on the other side of him. I then took my phone out and deleted Jc's number, then showed Kian. I also deleted Kenny's number, just for Kian's pleasure. Then, I put my phone by Kian's and got onto his lap and pulled his face close to mine, so close that I could taste his spearmint breath. His lips were so close to mine, that when I talked, my lips brushed past his lips.
"There is no part of me, that would ever intentionally hurt you Kian. I am in love with you, and I have been ever since I met you. I'd rather die, than be without you. Atleast when I'm dead, I know that I'll have the power to watch over you and keep you safe. Our relationship is a bumpy roller coaster, but I'm willing to hang on and go through with it, if you do too. I don't want to lose you Kian, because I'm kind of in love with the idea of us."
He smiled widely and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling my body closer to his.
"So, what do you say? Kian Robert Lawley, will you take me back?"
He leaned back on his bed, pulling me down with him.
He grinned. "It would be my pleasure."
