Nerds in Love//Cashton

Ash

Word count: 2410

I sat down at my kitchen table, staring into space. Every time I blinked, I saw Calum's red, raw arm. I couldn't believe he did that. I thought Calum was just spewing random stuff because he was drunk. I kept trying to push the thought away of me being the cause of Calum's misery, but maybe I was.

"Ashton, honey?" I turned to look at my mother, feeling the tears run down my face. I hadn't realized I had been crying until then.

"Mum, what am I supposed to do?" She looked at my confused and pulled out a chair to sit across from me.

"I'm afraid I don't understand sweetie."

"Calum cut himself, mum." I managed to say through the huge lump forming in my throat. "And I think it was my fault."

"Ash, you don't know that..." I shook my head, laughing through the tears.

I filled her in with Calum's mental breakdown that I heard in the library that one time, and the party and walking in on him losing it. I told her all the things Calum said while drunk at Luke's party and how I was angry at him this morning, leaving out the minor details.

"Oh, honey." I stood up and let my mother pull me into a hug. "I'll talk to his mum."

"No! Y...you can't! He could get mad!"

"Sweetie, we've got to help him."

"Give me a week. Please." I haven't felt this desperate ever.

"Fine. Just know, I want you to fill me in if it starts to get any worse." I smiled and my mum kissed my forehead before walking off.

-

I was up in my room, finally finishing up the last of Calum and my homework. I smiled and pulled out my phone. I knew Calum was probably asleep, so I scrolled through my contacts until I found Michael's number. He had given me his number right before we left the party in case I needed to call him for help.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Michael."

"Ashton? Why are you calling. I thought you were mad."

"I...I didn't know I was the one who hurt him." I stuttered. I felt tears prick at my eyes, but I blinked them away.

"Wait. What happened?"

"Calum cut himself today. And they weren't shallow either."

"They were deep?" Michael gasped on the other line. I was silent for a moment before responding.

"They weren't too deep, but..." I sighed, and felt tears rolling down my cheeks.

"I'll go talk to him." I felt my eyes widen.

"No, wait. He thinks I'm the only one who knows. My mom is giving me a week, but I have a feeling she'll tell his mum anyway. Besides, I put him to bed."

"Really?" Michael sighed. "I'll see you and Cal tomorrow before school starts."

Before I could say anything else, Michael hung up. I couldn't believe I basically encouraged Calum to do that to himself. Just days before he was smiling, laughing and having a good time? Why all of sudden now was he sad? I never betrayed him, or hurt his feelings. Not until now at least. But he started acting up days ago.

Shaking my head, I packed my back pack for the next day and got into the shower, letting the long day get washed away from the hot water.