Nerds in Love//Cashton

Epilogue

My vision began to ebb away as I watched my mum hovering over me. I saw her lips moving, so I knew she was taking, but I couldn't quite hear her. There was this loud buzzing sound ringing in my ears.

"W...what?"

"Are you okay, sweetie?" I could feel myself shaking as I watched Joy collapse into Dave's arms. Mali Koa walked over to Calum and placed a delicate hand on his cheeks. Those same chubby cheeks I kissed every night before we went to bed. Those same cheeks that I would pinch if Calum was pouting. Those same chubby cheeks I loved so much.

Everything seemed to sway back and forth as I grew more and more dizzy.

"Ashton?" I grabbed at my mother as she tried pulling me up.

"Is...this is a dream." I mumbled, falling into to hysterics.

"No, Ash. This is real." I could feel my stomach rise into my throat, feeling the realization finally hit me like waves at the beach. Everything was happening all too quickly.

"I...I think I'm gonna be sick." I shrugged out of my mother's embrace and burst out of the room in search of a bathroom.

Finding one a couple doors down, I quickly threw myself in a stall and spewed out all of the contents in my stomach. Just the mere thought of having to go back in the room to face the Hood's caused another round of vomiting.

When I was sure I was finished, I rinsed my mouth out with water several times before leaving to find my mother and the Hood's.

-

"Are you sure you're ready, honey?" My mother asked from the doorway as I fixed my peach colored tie for the one hundredth time that morning,

"I'm sure." I replied with a nod. She smiled sadly and walked into the room, standing behind me. I smiled as I watched her stand on her tip toes to rest her chin on my shoulder. We stood there for several minutes, examining each other.

"Okay. We're ready when you are." My mother gave me a small kiss on the temple before stepping out of the room.

I never though in a billion years I'd be gathering with people all over town to remember someone so special. I had pictured this moment a lot more different than I had a couple months prior to last week.

A couple of tears slid down my face as I made my way down the stairs and into the foyer.

"I'm ready."

-

Four seats were reserved right next to the Hood's for my family. We all sat down, right in the front row. I stared at the closed cedar wood coffin that sat right in front of me. Every time I blinked, the picture of my boyfriend in the hospital was tattooed across my eyelids.

"Thank you all for coming here today..." I heard the priest begin before I tuned out. I was not ready to say goodbye for the last time. I refused to admit he was gone. I was going to wake up to Calum snuggled in my arms with floppy hair and a drooly, sleepy smile on his face.

"Ash..." My mother nudged me and I looked up to see the priest looking down at me with a gentle face. I wiped the tears that were forming in my eyes and made my way to the pedestal that was set up for the eulogies.

"Most of you probably already know me. If you don't, I'm Ashton Irwin, the only other person who can be dorkier than Calum." I smiled slightly as the crowd shared watery laughter.

"I know we all know why we're here. And while it's an unfortunate situation we seem to be in right now, it won't be forever." I smiled and looked down at my hands, willing myself not to cry. "Calum is all around us right now, probably laughing at the sight."