"I'm probably the happiest I've ever been"-Dan - Phan

Pizza

Dan's PoV
I can't believe Phil said that. Let our viewers know? He has to be joking. They'd go crazy, I don't know if I'm ready for that amount of emotion from the people that watch my videos.
"What are you thinking?" He's staring at me, unblinkingly, slightly cross eyed. I just smile.
"Nothing. Just how happy it makes me for you to be here."
The pizza is balanced in between us on the bed. I don't know why we ordered pizza. Pancakes would be more appropriate for breakfast, I just wanted an excuse to keep Phil in bed with me, if I'm honest. We've put on an anime, but I'm only half watching it. Most of my attentions on Phil.
"Stop staring at me!" He blushes as he reaches for another slice of pizza.
"Sorry."
The pizza box is empty. Phil moves the box onto the floor and shuffles towards me. His hands work his way to intertwine with my own and I just watch him as he positions himself so cuddle into me.
"What are you doing?" I ask him, nervously. I'm not sure why I'm nervous, but there's something about Phil that makes my heart skip go faster. I'm literally terrified that my palms are grossly sweating and Phil's getting disgusted about it...
"You said you wanted pizza and cuddles," he says, studying my face "I think you missed the cuddles."
He leans up and swiftly kisses me on the lips. He's smiling so much, it's adorable, but he always is I guess. He's always so happy. He's kind to everyone.  He's Phil Lester. He's perfect.
I'm starting to get slightly anxious looking at his face.
"I'll be right back." I force a smile and head out of the door to the bathroom. I need a minute alone. One day Phil will be dead. I will be dead. Everything's so perfect now, but what after? I bat away the thoughts like I'm swatting flies.

When I come back, Phil's sat up and he looks at me.
"Everything okay?" He asks, his eyes are so full of genuine concern, I know I could melt on the spot.
"Everything's fine."
I climb onto the bed and move in next to Phil. He knows I've just overwhelmed myself, so he kisses me on the head and let's me move into him.
He moves towards me and kisses me again, this time on the mouth. Our mouths open, our teeth clash, our tongues touch. He can't get enough of me, and I can't get enough of him. His hands move from around my waste to under my shirt and move around. We're a mess and in that moment, everything stopped. There were no crazy fans. No people making up or love lives for us to get money and views. It was us, genuine and pure.
He eventually pulls back for breath, his lips pink and he looks at me, his face full of light.
"I love you." He says, he's bright red and smiling.
But I can't say it back. I just stare at him, open mouthed. Of course I love him. Why can't I say I do?