A Constellation of Thoughts

this is so important

I've seen girls who wonder if they are disastrous enough to get in, and fit in between the people in the corridor. I've seen girls wearing way too much makeup because they don't feel they are attractive, or those who change their sexual preference because they think the male will never perpetually find them attractive enough. 

We stuff toilet paper, and get double-d's added onto our body, in hopes that someone will eventually find us attractive. We bleed flowers, but only the ones given out at our funerals, because the only thing we care about is the way we will die. But we don't have enough audacity to shoot ourselves or use guns, because we want to be remembered as beautiful, not a mess. 

Yet those around us chose to never see that side of us, they never liked seeing anything overwhelming and distracting.  

I see knots written into wood as i put my flat hand over the bumpy spot's of my table. 

you cannot say you miss me when you were just as infatuated with my death as i was.