Wonderwall

Chapter 5

The memories hit me hard.

I was tipsy, and I was making jokes and I was completely loosened up. My walls were all down. I was laughing. I was happy. Only, I wasn't. It was the alcohol. I got drunk, really drunk, and I was giggling and smiling, and dancing. I was swaying my hips and dancing hardcore. I went to get another drink, and Noah stopped me, and I looked right into his eyes. He said to me, 'I think you've had enough.' And I said 'I haven't.' and he said 'Hun, you've had eleven drinks. We've got a game tomorrow.' And I sighed, and I said, 'Noah, I think you're really pretty. Your eyes are really pretty. I always thought you were really pretty.' And he said 'Come on, let me take you to your room.' And I said, 'Um no, I'm okay.' And he said, 'Come on, it's past midnight.' And I said, 'Okay.' And he said 'Come on.' And he started to walk. I followed him to my room.

When we got to the door, I begged him to come inside. He kept saying no, that I was drunk and it was inappropriate, but I insisted, so he agreed.

We went inside, and immediately, I started removing my clothes.

"Brecklyn, I'm leaving."

"No, I'm just changing."

He put his hands over his eyes and I put on pajamas pants and a shirt.

I told him I was dressed, and he peeked an eye out.

I begged him to stay the night and he kept saying no. He did give in and promised he'd stay with me, and I couldn't sleep, but I insisted he lay down with me, so he did, and he fell asleep but I couldn't, and I got up when he was sleeping because I was hot and I stripped naked, and when I got back in the bed, he woke up, and he left. I heard him muttering a string of swears on the way out.

The next thing I knew, I woke up this morning.

I'm staring at my hands.

I basically took advantage.

"Brecklyn?" he asks.

I look up at him.

I feel horrible.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

I just shake my head.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"I don't want to talk about it." I sigh.

He frowns.

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I went home and I avoided the team. I didn't talk to anybody.

I went to games and that's it.

I used my money to get a phone, a laptop, and food, and then after a few paychecks, I bought a nice condo, and I hired people to help me move into it.

It's beautiful.

It's been two months, and I feel nauseous.

My condo is beautiful. It's in a skyscraper. It's two bedrooms and it has an office. It's amazing. It's five million, five hundred thousand.

Still, I thought money would solve all of my problems, but I'm depressed. I love in this big condo with all this space and nobody has ever seen it. I don't have any friends. I don't have a boyfriend. And Emma? She didn't answer my twitter message.

I have a wall sized TV and cable and internet.

I'm sitting on the couch, packed for the flight for the next game. I haven't been told where it is yet.