better there than here | ᴶᴴˢ × ᴹᵞᴳ

I

'What's with that annoying noise!?' Hoseok thought while slowly opening his eyes. Ugh, they felt heavier than usually all the days before. And this annoying noise just wouldn't stop echoing in his head. Oh, and why won't his vision finally get clear? So annoying. All he could see were mere silhouettes. 'Why is everything so blurry?.. and when is this noise finally going to shut up!?' he thought. It took him a while to recognize the sound. It was the sound of an ambulance. 'Did someone get hurt?' Hoseok didn't understand. He wanted to rub his eyes, maybe he'd be able to see clearly afterwards, but for some weird reason he wasn't even able to move his right hand, not even just an inch. He tried to move his left one. Nothing. This one just wouldn't budge moving even a little. 'Damn this. What's happening?'

He just kept on watching what he could see through his blurry vision. The silhouettes were strolling around him. They were touching him. One of them put fingers on his neck, maybe feeling his pulse or something? Maybe not. Maybe it was just his imagination. Maybe he was dreaming, after all he didn't really feel anything, literally. The only thing he, maybe, felt was the headache he got from the sirens, they were simply too loud. Annoying.

Really now, what was happening to him? He felt himself being moved by the silhouettes. He could tell he was lying on something. Something they could move. Suddenly everything around him turned white. Where was he now? Are the members playing some kind of prank on him? Actually, he couldn't even remember he had fallen asleep. Okay, now he got nervous. He couldn't move. He could barely see anything. He couldn't feel anything except the throbbing pain in his head. Oh no, well, there was another feeling. Loneliness? Regret? Disappointment? Maybe a mixture of all of them. Or maybe something else?

"Oh my.. god...... what.. have I... done?..... I'm... so sorry... Hyung!!.. Please.. don't leave.. us! Don't leave... me!!"

There. There was someone talking to him, he could hear it, not clearly but nonetheless, he could understand it. 'Why should I leave? I'm right here. Don't you see me?' he thought to himself, since he wasn't able to move his lips to speak a single word. Oh, the heaviness of his body scared him. There was another flood of feelings crashing over him. Fear? Sadness? Pain? 'What's happening here? Ugh, I have to wake up.'

Then, suddenly, a silhouette showed up right before him. Whoever person's silhouette it was, it was near him, hovering above his face, dark hair, calling his name over and over again. 'Jung Hoseok? Is that even my name?' he questioned himself. After all it was a familiar voice, the sound soothed every one of his feelings, lowered the pain, and calmed him down. He remembered the voice. Warm. Deep. Its owner was a precious person to him. Somebody he loved with all his heart, with all his soul, with everything he was. He remembered the owners' name. Taehyung, his fellow band member. Yes, it was his voice. Hoseok wanted to smile just because of the sound of Taehyung's voice, but he couldn't, his body wouldn't let him smile, no matter how hard he tried.

However, why was the younger even calling his name? Why should he leave? He didn't plan on leaving, or did he? He couldn't remember. This whole situation was become stranger and stranger with every passing second. 'Oh, what is that?' he questioned. He felt something moist running down his cheeks. Was he crying? No, Taehyung was the one, who was crying but why? His precious Taetae shouldn't be crying. Hoseok wanted to see his rectangular, beautiful smile like always. The most beautiful smile Hoseok had ever seen.

Another wave of feelings hit him. Admiration? Love? The endless wish to just fade away? Oh yes! That was it! Hoseok's body finally remembered something. The endless wish to fade away, like he would have never existed. Oh, now it hit him hard. He remembered. What he did. What had happened. What they had told him. What Taehyung had said to him. It hurt. It hurt so badly. If he would have the might do describe the feelings inside him, he would just stay silent, because he wouldn't want anyone to feel the same way he did.