better there than here | ᴶᴴˢ × ᴹᵞᴳ

XIV

'I know it won't take long for you to realize, Yoongi.'

Hoseok watched as the room became more and more lit with each passing second as the sun raised more and more, lighting up the world with its beautiful glow. He and Yoongi had been awake now for quite some time, but neither of them wanted to leave the studio or even each other. They shared the couch they were lying on. Neither of them talked, but there wasn't even the need to. All they wanted and needed at that moment was each other's company and that was exactly what they gifted each other. The presence of the other. They shared their warmth, lying there, Yoongi's back facing Hoseok with Hoseok's arms tightly wrapped around Yoongi's body. Yoongi hummed in content as he felt the way their legs tangled. He snuggled back into Hoseok's tight embrace and for a while he allowed himself to forget about everything and just enjoy staying at the same spot with Hoseok for hours.

Yoongi shoved the thoughts about Hoseok leaving him one day away. He knew Hoseok was still broken. Of course the younger was healing, slowly. However, Yoongi was perfectly aware of the fact that it would take Hoseok quite some time to find back to his old sunshine self. If that was even possible. Yoongi could just hope and maybe, if Hoseok would let him, help him as good as he could.

"Hyung?" Hoseok's voice suddenly cut through the comforting silence and Yoongi couldn't keep in a light sigh. He wanted the moment, the silence to last even longer. He was afraid that talking would destroy everything and they would go back to where they stopped before Hoseok fell asleep. He was afraid that Hoseok would tell him to leave him alone in the end. After all, Yoongi hadn't confessed to him and Hoseok usually didn't talk about his feelings anymore. Yoongi was also afraid that Hoseok didn't like him the way he liked him and so he would always pick silence before speaking with the younger. However, he knew he had to. He had messed up Hoseok enough already, the least thing he could do for him now was talking to him, no matter what Yoongi would have to face in the end.

"Yeah?" Yoongi answered after a few seconds, which, to Hoseok, felt like ages. Hoseok felt the way Yoongi's body stiffened a little. Yoongi hadn't intended to do so or let Hoseok know about his own insecurity, well, he did a miserable job at that.
"Why did you leave yesterday?" Hoseok asked after some more seconds passed by and for a while he thought Yoongi wouldn't answer. To be honest, Yoongi indeed thought about just ignoring the question, but it was Hoseok who had asked. Yoongi turned around, now facing Hoseok. He looked into the younger's eyes for a short period of time before his gaze shifted to the younger's lips. He kept his gaze there before he snuggled more into Hoseok's embrace, hiding his face at Hoseok's neck, closing his eyes.

Hoseok tightened his grip around Yoongi and pulled him more towards his chest until there was no space left between them. He let his head carefully fall on top of Yoongi's, smelling the elder's shampoo. He quietly hummed in content as he noticed the familiar scent and he felt the way his own body started to relax even more. He enjoyed it so much, yet it frightened him so much. He let his eyelids fall close.

They stayed there in silence for a little longer before Yoongi finally decided to answer Hoseok's question.
"I needed to get out of there. For a moment I even needed to get away from you. I was afraid, so damn afraid. You took those damn pills again and I guess it triggered something inside me.." Yoongi started to explain. He stopped for a brief moment just to check if Hoseok would want to get away from him or anything similar. However, the younger didn't even move an inch and so Yoongi assumed it was alright for him to continue his explanation. " you know, when you tried to kill yourself.. for a few days I hadn't been able to go back to the dorm, because I felt like the walls were creeping up on me. It was suffocation to stay at the same place in which the most important person in my life took his own life. I couldn't stay there for a second and I guess seeing you taking those pills again just threw me back to that time. They only place left for me to go was here, the studio." Yoongi continued his explanation and waited for Hoseok to answer something, anything. However, Hoseok kept silent, thinking about what Yoongi let him know.