better there than here | ᴶᴴˢ × ᴹᵞᴳ

V

[ jungkook ]

Today was his day for visiting Hoseok and apologizing to him. Well, actually it was Taehyungs days, but Jungkook convinced him, that it would be better if Jungkook would apologize as soon as possible and before Taehyung. After all, Jungkook knew it all woud have never happened, if he would have talked to both of them from the beginning. However, he didn't and now he couldn't change it anymore. It had happened and all he could do now was apologizing and wishing for forgiveness. Jungkook was pretty sure Hoseok would forgive him, but he was still afraid there might be some chance left for Hosoek to not forgive him.

He and the members had talked about it again as they arrived at the dorm the last evening. All of them were sure Hoseok had forgiven them long ago, but that didn't matter. They just had to make up to him. They needed to make up to him. Not just so Hoseok would feel better, but also that they would be able to live with themselves again. It might sound egoistic, but it's true.

Jungkook decided to walk there, he didn't take the van. Why? Because he needed time to think. Time to get to know how he would apologize to Hoseok. He did once before, but today he wanted to apologize for every mistake he did, no matter how little it was. It took him about a hour to arrive there, maybe if he would have walked faster it wouldn't have taken him so long. However, he needed that time. As he reached the big entrance to the huge building, he got in and walked towards the elevator. On his way he heard a woman starting to scream. Jungkook turned into that direction and was shocked. A woman cried bitterly. She was lying on the floor and screaming somones name. The people around her seemed to cry as well, maybe they felt her pain. A doctor sat beside her and tried to calm her, but he failed. Two nurses came to help her get up from the floor and get her away from the lobby. Jungkook couldn't look away. Not long ago he had been exactly the same.

"Why!? Why did my son do this!? Why did he kill himself!?"

Jungkook heard the woman screaming from a little further away. He froze, he was shocked. He indeed had been the same as her. The only difference? This woman lost her son for sure, whereas he and the members got another chance. There was no way he would screw this up again. He would never let this happen! But still, right now he felt like screaming. For a moment he felt like he needed to run away again. Like when he had his little fight with Jimin. He turned around, almost starting to run as he saw a familiar figure. Hoseok. What did his Hyung do down here? Jungkook, who forgot about his attempt to run away, hurried himself over to his Hyung.
"Hyung! Hyung! Where are you going!? Why are you down here??" Jungkooks voice full of worry for the older. Hoseok looked at him and slowly started so smile slightly. Jungkooks heart started to melt at the sight of his Hyung smiling at him. Well, it wasn't one of those smiles Hoseok used to show before everything happen. Jungkook couldn't even remember how they looked like and Hoseoks smiles on photos seemed to be a big lie. Actually it had been months since Jungkook saw another emotion in Hoseoks face than sadness, but sadness more like emptiness. Yes, back those few months you could see Hoseoks empty heart through his face, especially his eyes. Jungkook almost started to cry at the beautiful sight, not able to move anymore or being able to say a word. Hoseok noticed. He knew what the younger was thinking. Hoseok had always been able to read the younger quite good. He took Jungkooks hand in his and pulled the younger softly into an embrace. Jungkook started to sob as his cheek touched Hoseoks shoulder. Hoseok started cooing at the younger.
"To be honest, I was waiting for one of you." Hoseok whispered in Jungkooks ear.
"You could have waited upstairs. In your bed." Jungkook sobbed again. Hoseok stroked through his hair.
"I wasn't sure. Maybe you forgot about me and I was bored." Hoseok told him. He wanted to leave the 'Maybe you forgot about me..' part out, but it just slipped through his lips. Jungkook lokked upwards into the olders eyes. Tears welling up. His eyes were still red and puffy from all the previous crying. Hoseok didn't want to see him crying anymore.
"How could I ever forget you? How could any of us every forget you?" Jungkook whispered as an answer even though it where questions. Hoseok wiped away the tears that started to run down the youngers cheeks.
"No more tears. You heard me? You're the one who wants to be the manliest one of us, so stop this crying. You're not looking handsome." Hoseok nagged and Jungkook didn't know if he should smile or cry even more. Hoseok was nagging at him. Jungkook had missed it so much, he couldn't even tell how much.