better there than here | ᴶᴴˢ × ᴹᵞᴳ

XIII

[ yoongi ]

Yoongi closed the door of the recording studio behind him, leaning against it, panting heavily from all the running. He had needed to get away from Hoseok. If he would have stayed there any longer he would have probably said things he would be regretting by now. He had sworn to himself that he would never ever hurt Hoseok again, especially not with words. He had seen enough. He knew better than to start this again and he knew he wouldn't be able to live with any more regrets towards Hoseok. It was already bad enough. Well, maybe it was better now, but since Hoseok kept on taking those damn pills Yoongi assumed that it hadn't actually gotten any better. Actually, the only thing that changed was the time that passed by.

He was stupid, so damn stupid and stubborn. How could he ever think that Hoseok was alright again, at least kind of? Yoongi felt bad. He went over to the little couch and lounged himself on it, staring at the screens at the table on the other side of the room. He sighed. Slowly he felt his heart calming down from racing over to the recording studio. He deeply wished that at least this one night would belong only to him, just to be alone for some time. He needed some space. He needed to be alone. He didn't want to let the others see him cry. He knew it would happen, because not matter how calm his heart became, the aching hurt inside his soul grew with every passing second. His mind started wandering from one thought to the next one, never concentrating on a single one at all, not ever for a second.

He laid there for several minutes, his mind still trying to haunt different thoughts at the same time, fully ignoring that it wasn't possible. Yoongi noticed that he had never turned on the lights, but that was probably just because he felt like he belonged into the darkness. He had always belonged there, without any light. For some time he had thought Hoseok could be his light, but obviously the latter would never be. Yoongi understood that now and slowly he felt himself drowning in the darkness. 'Did Hoseok feel like that?' he questioned himself.

Everything felt like a bad joke to him, literally. He didn't quite know what to feel or think anymore. He turned several times on the couch, searching for something, but never finding what he was looking for. Maybe he was looking for light in the darkness, maybe he was just looking for a stable thought, but maybe he was wishing he didn't run away. Maybe Hoseok would be there, helping him once again, out of all of this. Hoseok had always been there for him. Why not now? Why wasn't Hoseok with him? And then he remembered that Hoseok would never be there the way he wanted him to be, because Hoseok wanted to leave all of them, Yoongi as well. Yoongi felt hot tears welling up in his eyes, but he managed to fight them back for a while. He didn't want to be weak, but he knew he couldn't control it any longer. He let the tears run down his cheeks, falling onto the couch. He stared into the darkness, hoping someone would save him. Hoseok.

ㅡ

[ hoseok ]

Hoseok arrived at the entertainment building. He looked up to the windows, but none of them was lit. However, just because there were no lights wouldn't mean that Yoongi wasn't there. Hoseok was pretty sure he would find Yoongi in the recording studio. Like very sure. Hoseok hurried himself into the building, feeling how his steps slowly grew heavier. 'Shit! Not now!' Hoseok thought. 'I thought I'd have more time. shit.' He went over to the elevators, waiting for one to arrive, but for whatever reason it took far too long for Hoseok's liking and he knew he wouldn't have that much time left. He run over to the staircase, then he run upstairs to get to the 4th floor. As he arrived at the door to the 4th floor he felt his vision getting blurry, almost falling down on his knees. However, he couldn't give up now, he fought back the sleep and got himself to straighten up again. He didn't turn on the lights on his way to the recording studio, he knew the way just too well anyways. He struggled with almost falling asleep with every single step, but he managed to get to the recording room just in time. He opened the door and stepped in, turning on the lights. He wanted to see Yoongi before he would fall to the floor.