better there than here | ᴶᴴˢ × ᴹᵞᴳ

XXVII

"What the actual fuck do you think you're doing?" Yoongi asked, his voice calm though Hoseok could hear the underlining anger coming through at the very end. To be honest, Hoseok didn't really know if it was anger. At this point it could have been well something like disappointment, or even despair. Hoseok just couldn't put his finger on it, and frankly enough, he was afraid to even try to. He stared at the older for some more seconds until he allowed his own gaze to shift down to the floor, anxiety slowly creeping through his veins, though he tried his best to remain as calm as humanly possible. Suddenly, the room was way too quiet, and then he already felt his breathing getting faster, even though the air he tried to get into his lungs was progressively getting lesser by the second. There was this particular feeling in his chest, one he knew too well, which was pounding against his ribcage, causing him to feel like he was about to choke, or even end up suffocating in the end. Then there was rustling, and Hoseok knew Yoongi had gotten up from the bed, probably looking at him with that disappointed look the younger hated to see on the elder's face.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" he asked instead of looking back up at his hyung, who now was coming closer and closer. Hoseok didn't have to see him to know he was almost there, standing right in front of him. He closed his eyes, he could feel Yoongi's gaze burning his skin.
"It looks like you're trying to get out of here." His hyung stated with a calmness to his voice that Hoseok wasn't neither expecting, nor used to. Something loud within him started to yell at him to run, but then there was also this other voice that told him to get on his knees and beg for forgiveness even though he knew he was doing the right thing. Hoseok made it his priority to not listen to either of the voices.

"Maybe that's the plan?" Hoseok answer sounded more like a question than an actual reply and he wanted to hit himself for it. However, he was afraid to make any sudden moves, and suddenly another voice in his head laughed at him for confusing Yoongi with and angered animal that was ready to pounce at him. Well, who knew what Yoongi was ready to do at that very moment anyways.
"Why- Why are you doing this?" the older asked. "Why are you doing this to me?" he continued, however, this time there was this disappointment in his voice that Hoseok hated so much.
"Because that's the only right thing for me to do." Hoseok answered, or rather yelled at the older, looking at him like a deer caught in the headlights. He didn't know why he was yelling at his hyung all of a sudden. Maybe, because the disappointment in Yoongi's voice stirred something awake within himself that he much rather ignored. For a fraction of the moment he didn't know what to do, or to think, or to say. All he wanted to do was to hug his hyung, tell him that everything would be fine, and 'oh, it was all just a joke!'. And yet, he wanted to run past him, out of the fucking dorm and never return. What even was he doing at this point?

"How could this be right? You leaving? Do you really think that's the right thing to do?" Yoongi sounded like he was actually pissed at Hoseok that very moment. Hoseok flinched back at the words, even if they hadn't been hurtful. "You leaving me- us? That's ridiculous!" Yoongi yelled back at him at this point. The younger looked at him, sighing softly. Yoongi immediately seemed to calm down at that, obviously worried that he might have gone too far and hurt Hoseok in the progress. Hell, he didn't even remember his last few words, even though he had just said them. Hoseok raised one arm and reached for him. Yoongi made a few steps towards him, grabbing the arm Hoseok was holding towards him and pulled him in for a hug.

Hoseok immediately hid his face at his hyung's neck, letting out a painful sob as the effects of this whole situation seemed to finally get to his body. Yoongi hugged him tightly to his body, making sure that Hoseok could feel how much he loved him, needed him and wanted him to stay with them, with him. Hoseok, however, only continued to sob, and it took him about a minute until he regained enough self control to take a step back and take Yoongi's' face into his hands, looking down at his slightly shorter hyung.