"Just let me talk this out with you," Parker says, following me down the hall. I turn, his eyes locking on mine.
"Why would I need to talk to you?" I ask, shrugging my shoulders. He literally only had sex with me because that's all we wanted. There's nothing to talk about except he found someone and I'm now alone.
"Because you left me in anger the other night," he says, grabbing my wrist and pulling me to him.
"You have to understand that I like this girl. I-I found someone that I want more with. You're...a friend that had more," he says, my hand shoving him away from me.
"Fuck off," I groan, walking away.
"Carly, I can't. You're more to me than that," he says, pulling me back into him.
"You're just a fuck buddy. Now get out of the way asshole," I demand, shoving away from him. But my eyes widen when I look up and see Harry looking at me with parted lips, shock evident on his face.
Shit.
I quickly rush towards him and grab his hand, pulling him into a study room. He looks at me and I can see the fear and the confusion, my hands grabbing his.
"F-Fuck...buddies," he whispers, my hands moving to grab his face to get him to focus on me.
"Harry, listen to me. Look at me," I say, his eyebrows frowning. But his green eyes peer into mine and I brush my thumbs along his cheekbones.
"That's who I was. I'm alone now and I want you to understand that," I start, his frustration clear. "I'm a confused girl who doesn't know what the hell she's doing with herself. Please, understand that."
He grabs my hands and steps back, my hand running through my hair. I'm scared I made him fear me and will only think of me as someone's fuck buddy.
"That...that scares me," he tells me, my head nodding.
"I get that. I really do, and I don't want to scare you. I promised you I wouldn't hurt you," I say, taking a step closer to him. I look into his eyes and he watches me closely, his hand reaching up.
"Why...did you, um...do stuff?" he asks, halting me before I can reach him. I sigh and pull a chair out, his body sitting beside me.
"I just...it's so complicated. My dad left my mom so I felt like that lack of father figure...you know, left me want affection from a man. This was it," I sigh, knowing how horrible that sounds. My home life sucked as a kid and it still does; my mom always working to a point where she never checks up on me. I'd kill to have a mom like Harry's.
He looks at me, observes my features. Then I bury my face in my hands, knowing he must see me differently. It makes me so upset that I'm alone, but I've always been. I'm probably the most lonely person on the planet.
"Confusion," he whispers, my head lifting to look up at him. He nods at me and looks into my eyes. "You're confused. You need to find a man."
I smile, the words funny from his mouth. He just smiles and I find myself loosening up, his help proving to be useful.
"I do. But I don't know where to start. I'm so out of the loop in the world of dating," I explain, his shoulders shrugging.
"You're in a better place than me," he says, my eyebrow lifting.
"What does that mean?" I wonder, confused on how he thinks so. He's a nice guy; a girl would be lucky to have him.
"No one...likes me. I'm not a romantic guy," he starts to tell me, my interest growing. "I've had a kiss, but...nothing after. I-I can't...I'm unstable."
My hands grab his and I face him, looking at him closely. He meets my gaze shyly and I squeeze his hands. "I like you. And I don't want you to feel scared with me. I'm here for you."
Harry simply nods and I smile, his hands holding mine tight. "I'm not...I'm not used to this."
"Having someone is important. I would know," I say, his hands moving into his pockets. All I had was my mom and they're supposed to be important. She abandoned me.
"I want to be with your friend," he says, "B-but no one has ever...you know, wanted to be mine."
I grab his forearms, looking up at him. "I've told you already that I'd love to be your friend. You're cool and I like that."
He just flushes and I smile, his dimples appearing on his cheeks. Dimples are the cutest thing and I adore them, finding Harry to be a very attractive man. But neither of us are stable for a relationship and I have no idea if a relationship with him could be possible.
Harry grabs his has and we wait in the lecture hall, his body close to mine. The two of us are close that our arms brushing, but he makes it a point to be gentle. We listen to the lecture, taking notes and studying everything.
When lecture ends, I take my stuff and Harry waits for me. The two of us head to the library and we start homework, my knee nudged by Harry's. I glance up and he smiles, but keeps his focus down at his laptop. Then he glances up and I laugh, his gesture cute. I can tell he's trying, but it's okay if he's himself. He can talk with his stutter, take it slow, because it doesn't bother me at all.
It makes him Harry.
~~~
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