A hand grabs my arm and I jolt from sleep, but my panic quickly rises.
"Haz, the baby," Carly rushes, her breathing calm. I rush to her side and grab her hands, her hand holding the bottom of her stomach. I grab the preset bag we already had and I take her to the car, setting a blanket on the seat and helping her in.
"Deep breaths," I say, kissing her forehead. We took a class, mainly for my sake, because I wanted to be as prepared and ready as I could be to have a baby.
I drive us to the hospital and I help her inside, having her sit in a wheelchair and I take her in.
"She's in labor," I rush, a nurse nodding. They help us into a room immediately and I help Carly change, her hair pulled back by me. I braid it quickly and she takes my hand, my body leaning down. She leans her head onto my chest and I kiss her hair and forehead, the rest my chin on the top of her head.
"Just relax," I say, knowing this could be scary, but I want her to not feel any fear with me. I don't love anyone but her and I'm helping her bring in a baby that's ours. We're going to be parents together.
Then Carly yells and I take both hands, letting her squeeze mine and get the time of the contraction. She buries her face in my chest and nearly screams, the doctors trying to help but she clearly is fighting through it. But I'm happy she found shelter in me, and I'll gladly be with her through this. She showed me a life I never thought I could have.
"At this rate, in about an hour you can start to push," the nurse says, Carly groaning. It's three in the morning and Carly must be exhausted already, but I've never been more awake. I'm about to become a father and the thought has adrenaline pumping through my veins.
I sit with Carly and eat ice chips with her, laughing with her about how funny ice chips are. She's upset she can't do anything but deal with contractions, but I assure her it will all be worth it.
We've set up a room in our house for our little guy and the entire time we set it up, I don't think I didn't have a smile on my face. I'm so excited; taking a new step and showing my girl I can be the man for her.
Carly starts to clench her teeth and she sucks in a breath, my hand putting the cup to the side. I stand up and the nurses come to her side. The doctor looks and gasps, calling nurses over.
"You're already crowning," one says, and the epidural is set into Carly's back. Within minutes, Carly is pushing and the force she exerts on my hands turns the tips of my fingers nearly purple.
Sweat builds up on Carly's forehead and I brush it back, kissing her skin. She leans her head into the crook of my neck and I start to hear the baby crying. With one more minute, the baby is lifted out and brought into her arms.
Carly hushes the little boy and I can't take my eyes off him. He's mine.
"Sir, would you cut the umbilical cord?" I'm asked, my head turning to look at the nurse. She shows me what to do and they help clip it, my eyes staying on the boy. Carly wipes him off and the boy has a head full of hair. I can't look anywhere else.
"He's so perfect," I smile, kissing Carly's head. She lifts him up and I take him, the boy absolutely ours. He has my nose and Carly's lips. He's perfect.
The nurses take him for a check up and I help Carly wash up and get dressed. She hugs me close and I kiss her numerous times, thanking her. It just makes her laugh but the two of us are beyond happy now.
I grab the bag and take out the onesie we brought for him, Carly sitting and resting on the bed. She takes the braid out and puts a bun in her hair instead, but I stop when the nurse brings him back in. He's only wearing a diaper and a blanket, Carly taking him into her arms. She puts the clothes on him and wraps him back in a blanket, my body sitting beside her.
"He looks like you," she says, the little guy so content in her arms.
"I can't tell you how happy I am," I whisper, kissing her hair. She turns her head and pecks my lips, my heart pounding.
"Do you have a name?" she asks, my eyes looking him over.
"I've liked James," I tell her, her smile growing.
"James," she beams, looking down at him. His eyes open and he reaches up, my hand grabbing his. My attention has never been so captivated before either of the two in front of me. The feelings are so strong for them.
She turns to me and I take him into my arms, his dark hair all over the place. I always thought babies were born bald but I guess not. He's got a full head of hair.
His eyes are blue and I'm curious if they'll stay that way. I'm green eyed, and Carly has a blue/green color, so we'll see. But I'm just so excited to finally have him. Little James.
"Will you be okay if I sleep? I'm exhausted," she says, my eyes glancing up at her.
"You rest, beautiful," I say, leaning down. I kiss her forehead and take a seat, cradling James in my arms. He's wide awake right now and I take care of him, learning how to hold him.
"Mr. Styles, would you like to learn how to change a diaper?" a nurse asks, my head nodding.
"And we usually ask both parents, but she had a rough labor, so would you like to have him circumcised?" the nurse asks, and I nod. Carly and I had this conversation already.
We change his diaper and I hold him close after, his head resting in my neck. His hand rests on my chest and I'm unable to stop smiling. The feeling right now is unexplainable. I helped make this beautiful little boy and I look over at Carly. Without her, nothing about this moment could have happened. I fell in love when I thought I'd be alone for my entire life. I have a baby, when I thought I'd fear women my entire life.
This is a life I never thought I would have. And I owe it all to Carly.
~~~
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