I Told You Not To Fall in Love. ✔

XXVII - She lied.

"I want to hate you.
But I know that I love you.
And then I hate myself
That I fell for you." .

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

••| Chapter 27 |••

Playlist: Sanu Ik Pal Chain na avay - Arjit Singh.

Eleana:

It had been 2 months since we moved to US. It had been two months since I last saw my Aryan. It had been 2 months since I last talked to him. It had been 2 months since I talked to any of my friend. My treatment here had started. I didn't know whether to hope for something or not but I definitely didn't want to get my hopes up for nothing. I had gotten into one of the medical colleges here but my life was no more fun. Everyday was the same. I would get up, go to college, attend lectures, come back home, sleep, wake up in the evening, watch TV or do some other stuff, do homework, revise lectures and then sleep again. I didn't talk to anyone nor anybody cared to talk to me in college. I was glad because I didn't want any attention. I just wanted to get lost in the crowd. I was just living in my own little shell and I didn't want to come out. Mum and Dad were worried for me but they didn't lose hope and tried everything in their power to get me the best treatment that was possible. Who would want their young and only daughter to slip away just like that? I was drowning into depression. The most devastating part of depression was that it had robbed me of who I was. That girl who was once smart, crazy, full of life and had a lot of potential didn't exist anymore. I was just a living corpse now. I didn't know who I was anymore. It didn't even matter. All I wanted out of my life was a bit of happiness and peace but those two seemed to have forgotten to embrace me. I had no one to share my feelings with so I had kept a diary with my self. I sat there, flipping through my diary pages and tracing my fingers over Aryan's pictures, that were all over my diary with my writings.

Sometimes I remember you. I remember how first we became friends. I remember the times we shared, the way you used to laugh when I would pull a sad face. I remember when you told me your secrets, things that you had never told anyone before. I remember your smile when our eyes met everyday, the way you used to look at me, I'll never forget. With you was always my favourite place to be. You sit in my mind because once upon a time you were in my heart. I hope you think of me sometimes, cause I'll forever be thinking of you.

And with that, I had kept our little photo collage; our school memories. I wondered what Aryan might be feeling. Whether he would have moved on and would be happy with everyone else. Whenever, I thought of him, only his sad tear stricken face flashed in front of my eyes, the face that I had left heart broken 2 months ago at the airport and my heart dropped into the deepest pit of my stomach and only one thought came to my mind that Aryan didn't deserve this!

I miss you when something really good happens, cause you're the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, cause you're the one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry, cause you're the one who makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear. I miss you all the time but I miss you the most when I lie awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent together.

I grabbed my pen and laid on my bed, holding my diary and sticking the ball pen in my mouth. When I thought of Aryan I didn't need to think much, it seemed like the words automatically made their way on the pages as if it was the most natural thing on Earth.
I thought for a while and then started scribbling on my page. I was slightly insomniac before but now I had turned into a complete one. So I started pouring out my heartfelt insomniac thoughts on the diary pages.