My Youth is Yours (Phil x Reader)

8

~January 26, 2003~

Your POV

"Bye, Mum!" I shout as I sling my bag onto my back and walk out the front door.

I stand alone at the curb waiting for the bus, shivering as snowflakes land on my cheeks.

It's Monday. The start of another school week. As usual, I look around the street. Men and women dressed up nice and smart rush to their cars, wanting to get to Starbucks before work. Kids dressed in school uniforms shouting to their parents, strangely excited to go through six hours of hell. Couples walk their dogs hand in hand.

I look further up the street. A tall boy with mousey-brown hair and pale skin, dressed in his school uniform, his blue and green bag slung across his shoulders, walks in the direction of our school.

My heart sinks as he turns left and out of my view.

I look down at the thick blanket of snow covering the once green grass as a tear slips down my cheek, now realising how alone I feel waiting for the bus at this curb.

Stop it, Y/N. You need to forget about him.

I wipe the tear and look up, letting out a shaky breath and watch as a cloud of steam escapes from my lips. I hear the sound of an engine coming my way and straighten up, acting as if nothing is wrong.

The bus pulls over in front of me and the door opens. I walk on and down the aisle.

"Here's my girl." I put on a fake smile and sit down next to my 'loving' boyfriend. He puts his arm around me shoulder and kisses my cheek.

I squirm uncomfortably. I don't like being called 'his girl'. He doesn't own me. He doesn't love me. Even if he did have just a little bit of affection for me and not my looks, he would never show it.

I should love Jake. I really should. But I don't.

I regret saying 'yes' to the date just two days after that day.

I regret saying 'yes' to being his girlfriend just a week after that day.

And it's because of him. The boy I really love. The boy who still possesses my heart.

Philip Michael Lester.

"You okay, babe?" I look at Jake with a deadpan expression. I put on a fake smile and nod. He smiles back. "Good."

Damn fool. He calls himself a good boyfriend. He can't even see behind the fake smile.

It only takes five minutes to get from my neighborhood to school on the bus, but it feels more like five painful hours.

We finally get to school. I get off my seat, Jake right behind me, and walk off the bus. Once off, Jake grabs my hand. On the outside, I'm happy and I love my boyfriend. But inside, I'm screaming at him to fuck off, to let me be, to let me be with the one I love.

We stand in the hallway. Jake still has a firm grip on my hand. He and his dead shit friends are talking about scoring the most tries in rugby, whining about their 'problems' (mainly the girls complaining about that top or that 'cute' pair of shoes that sold out) and bitching about the 'losers.' I hate it. I hate them. But I can't go back to my old life. I bet they all hate me now. Especially Phil.

"Y/N!" I look up at Abbey, who looks at me annoyed. "Did you even hear what I said?"

"No, sorry, I must've zoned out." I was ignoring every word you just said.