My Youth is Yours (Phil x Reader)

9

Your POV

As Jake and I lock lips, all I can think of is Phil. The way he looked at us together. The way he looked at Jake. The way he looked at me.

Jake pulls back and looks at me, confused. "Y/N? What's up with you? You don't seem into this"

I'm not.

"I'm just.... thinking."

"About?" Silence. "Y/N-" he's cut off by the bell. I go to walk away but he grabs my wrist, making me wince.

"Jake, let go. We have to get to class."

He looks down at his feet, looking absolutely pissed. "Fine," he lets go. "We'll continue this later." And he walks off.

I stay put, shaking. Jake is known to have 'anger issues'. Especially when he doesn't get what he wants.

Lately, he's been pushing for... more.

Of course, I turn down every time. Not just because I'm not ready, but because I want it to be with someone I love.

This causes him to grow angry. Sometimes, even violent. I'm starting to run out of excuses as to why I come home with a red hand print on my cheek.

I can't believe I'm stupid to stay with him. But then again, who knows what the reaction would be if I were to break up with him.

I start to make my way to roll call, head down. I don't want to do this anymore. I've been doing this for four months. I'm done with it.

I'm done with Jake's friends. I'm done with Jake. I'm done with this 'new life'.

(Trigger warning)

My wrist still burns from Jake's grip. I gently pull up my sleeve, wincing in pain.

I would always promise Phil that no matter how shitty my life got, I would never damage my body.

But Phil left my life. I had no other option.

I stare at my wrist. Many have turned to scars, but the fresh cuts still remain red.

I'm disgusted with myself. Why did Phil ever love me? I'm a mess.

(You can come back)

Hearing footsteps, I quickly pull down my sleeve and look up. As I do, I'm knocked to the ground.

"Fuck!" I scream mid fall. The dick head who knocked me over quickly scrambles up, spluttering apologies. Hang on a second...

I know that voice. It's been four months, but there's no way I could forget it.

I look up. Did I say dick head before? I mean 'my ray of sunshine who I miss so much.'

Phil.

His eyes are puffy and his cheeks are stained, reminding me of that last day.

After about a minute of staring and mumbling apologies, he realises who he had just bumped into. His expression becomes angry and just as I go to speak, he runs off again.

I stay on the floor for a while processing what just happened.

Phil talked to me. Well, before he knew who he was talking to.

Sighing, I slowly stand up and make my way to roll call.

Phil's POV

I run away, leaving her on the floor. I had to get away from her.

I get to the bathroom and sit on the floor.

I shouldn't be angry at her. It wasn't her who said those words. But she was still friends with the people who did.

"She never loved you."

"You never had a chance against Jake."

"She only ever pitied you."

"She's with us now. She never liked you losers."

How could she hang around those people? I shouldn't have stared at them earlier. It always gets me in trouble when I do. It always ends with me in tears.

Jake's friends knew I loved Y/N. Everyone did. Except her.

I think of our moment earlier. Why didn't I help her up? Why was I mad at her? Four months ago I'd wish death upon to whoever hurt her.

What has happened to me?