'What if
What if we run away
What if
What if we left today
What if
We say goodbye to safe and sound
What if
What if we're hard to find
What if
What if we lost our minds
What if
We looked and fall behind and then never found.'
Y/N and Phil...
I smile proudly down at my finished drawing. It's not the best, but you can still make out who it is. The big, lovig blue eyes, the high cheekbones and the softest, warmest smile.
Phil Lester.
I frown down at the drawing. Something isn't right.
I pick up a black pencil and draw a small, messy circle on his nose, followed by three wonky lines on each side of his face.
That's better, but I need something else. Something to make it seem I have interlect... kinda. Hmm. What do artists usually do? What's something that screams, "this is Phil Lester!"
I turn over and lie on my back, sighing.
Come on. Think of him! He's extremely gorgeous- but probably shouldn't add that in. He's... really strange and happy about it.
Suddenly, I get an idea. I pick up a pencil and write my thoughts just next to his head, smiling.
I stare at the picture, beaming with joy.
I hear the front door shut, followed by muffled voices.
At first I think they're just having a conversation, like they always do when Dad comes home from work.
Until their voices rise and grow harsh, and I know that it's happening again.
I sit on the floor, my bottom (Dan) lip trembling. An explosion of emotions hit me at once. Confusion, sadness, heartbreak, fear, anger, hope; all at once.
I pick up my phone and call the only person who can help.
"Hey, love. What's up?" Phil's chirpy voice erupts from the tiny speaker.
"M-my parents. They're fighting a-and I'm scared. I just need you," I whimper, finally breaking into tears.
"Oh, gosh," he mutters. "Can you come over?"
"I'll be over in three minutes," I sniffle and hang up.
Hesitantly, I stand up and walk over to my door. I stare at the door knob for a moment, as if my room is a peace zone and behind this door is a nightmare. But I reach out and grab it, and open the door.
The shouting just becomes louder and clearer. I take in a deep breath, and walk out. I carefully sneak down the stairs, not wanting to be heard.
I make a dash to the front door, but before I leave, I turn and look into the living room.
My parents stand before each other, their faces red. With every word, saliva sprays out onto the opposite parent. My mum's face is streaked with tears as my father screams at her.
I want to stop it. I want to stand in between them and remind the two that they love one another. I want to remind them that their daughter needs them to love each other. I want to remind them that we're a family, and we need to stay that way.
But I can't. I've been trying to remind them for almost a whole month now, and it's pointless. My pleads are worthless. No matter what I say, Dad still comes home at ridiculous hours of the night, reeking of alcohol and Mum scolds him for it, causing a shouting match.
I open the front door and make a run to Phil's house. As soon as I knock, the door opens and a pair of long arms pull me into a warm embrace.
"You're here, now. You don't have to listen to it anymore," Phil's calming voice soothes me as I sob into his chest.
"I just want it to end," I mumble.
"I do too. Come inside, we'll go talk about it."
Phil softly guides me inside and up to his room. He sits down on his bed, pulling me onto his lap. I bury my face into his chest.
"All I want is my family back. I miss the times when the only arguments were over what movie to watch or who would be the best superhero or who would meet the Doctor first!",
"Maybe it's just a thing that will blow over."
"I want to think that, Phil, but after tonight's fight... I don't think things are going to be the same."
"Don't think that. Think of the things that make you happy."
"Like what?"
"Like how I love you," he says softly, kissing my head. I frown.
Our first kiss was last month, we both confessed our love last month, and we're everything the perfect couple should be. But, we're not a couple. Just... complicated friends.
But I force a smile and look up at Phil.
"And like how I love you."
"Exactly." Phil leans down and pecks my lips.
We then just lay in his bed and hold each other close until I have to go.
Before I go to sleep, I lay in my bed and stare at the ceiling, thinking about what Phil said.
Think of the things that make you happy.
I think of my friends, and how no matter what, they've been there for me when I needed them most.
I think of myself, and what I've achieved and how strong I've grown.
But most of all, I think of Phil. The one person who I've always been able to rely on. The one person who's been with me through thick and thin. The one person who always had time for me and my problems. The one person, besides my parents, who has never stopped loving me, even when he should've hated me with a passion.
Maybe things will be fine. My parents will come to their senses and stop the fights. I'll get my family back. My relationship with Phil will work out and we'll no longer be the 'complicated friends'.
I just have to wait, and then everything will be as it should be. I hope...
