Love's Labour's Lost. √

Chapter 9

Landon wanted Silvius' lips again. He wanted it all over his face, his hands, his neck... Things were starting to get out of hand, Landon was getting pissed at himself. He wished he could put his feelings into words and whatever happened or is currently happening between them could be understood.

The fact that Landon's parents were sitting right there at the dinner table, eating and pretending that nothing was going on was also pissing him off. The mighty elephant in the room was getting heavier and heavier by the second. Landon needed to think happy thoughts...Landon needed to think of Silvius. His friend was his light in a way. Just the thought of Silvius made him feel better. He felt the unintended smile tugging at his lips. He wanted Silvius, more than just a best friend and he didn't know what to do with that piece of information.

"So, you had a good day today at school today?" Landon heard his dad ask and his hands trembled in anger. What a pretender, acting like he actually cares. Landon places his fists on his thighs so his parents wouldn't notice.

"Good, yes. It was a good day." Landon answered curtly as his mind briefly drifts to Silvius again. God that little angel can't stay away from his mind for more than five minutes! Not that Landon wants him out, but still.

"Are you really alright though, you didn't really look good earlier, is something wrong Landon?" His mother asked and he chuckled darkly.

"Maybe you can tell me?" Landon said sending a glare his parent's way.

"What are you on about son?" Landon's father asked with genuine concern in his voice that almost swayed Landon. Almost. He didn't want this, he didn't ask for this. He just wanted a complete family and Silvius. Was that too much to ask? Silvius might not even like him like that. And with that thought in mind Landon suddenly became desperate. The thought of Silvius not wanting him that way was like burning flames against his skin.

"Lan..."

"Please don't get a divorce." Landon suddenly said and immediately overnight his mouth with his hands. Well, that goes that plan.

"Oh my god Landon, how did you...." His mother said with misty eyes and a sniff.

"I overheard you arguing when I got back. I'm sorry but please don't separate and I don't want to have two addresses, I don't want to move anywhere, our life is here and..."

"Landon..." His father started with a determined but remorseful look and Landon knew they'd already made their decisions seeing that his mother had the same look on her face. Landon's hands were tremendously shaking and unwanted tears were falling down his cheeks. He got up from his chair, the sound of the chair dragging against the tiled floor was the only thing he could hear alongside his soft footsteps as he walked away. His mother wanted to follow him but his father held her back. He was right, Landon needed time to fully digest the information.

"Why?" Landon turned around and asked them. They were already watching him closely and his mother was crying. His father did nothing to comfort her.

"Sometimes, but you might love someone with all your heart, be ready to die for them. But then sometimes all that love is not enough. That's all I can say about it for now."

Landon nodded his head and headed towards his sanctuary.

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The faucet was still running when Silvius rushed out the bathroom. His phone was ringing. It was probably Landon so he had to pick up. His friend was in a very shitty condition at the moment and Silvius had to be there for him.

"Hi, you ok?" Silvius asked as he walked back to the bathroom to turn off the tap.

"Can stay over tonight?" Landon asked, his voice gruff and deep.

"You know you don't have to ask."

"Thanks, Sil," Landon said with a sigh. "I have to go now. See you at school." Landon said and hung up. Silvius' heart was hurting because Landon was hurting. If he could, Silvius would take all of Landon's pain. He also felt incredibly guilty. Landon told him everything and Silvius never reciprocated the action. Silvius grabbed his school bag and headed downstairs for breakfast. His parents were currently kissing softly and on usual occasion, Silvius would scream at them not to do it when he was in the house, but in this moment he could help but feel grateful for what he had. It helped him understand Landon's situation better.

After a quick hug and kiss to both his parents, Silvius had breakfast and for the first time in many years, Silvius told his parents he loved them and quickly bolted out the house before they could cuddle or question him.
Landon was already waiting by the gate when Silvius got there so Silvius ran to him and hugged him tightly from behind. Landon turned around and an alarmed look which changed into a soft and loving one when he saw who it was.

"Hey, Sil," Landon said simply and Silvius grinned at him before placing a soft kiss on his cheek and Silvius had never regretted doing anything more than he did at that moment because Landon's alarmed look came back.

"Fuck Silvius! We're in public... don't do that."

"I...I t...thought you liked..." Silvius stammered.

"Yes, but not in public, people are going to start talking shit and we are not like that. We're just friends Silvius" Landon said with a blank look and Silvius felt like Landon took his heart squeezed it to the breaking point and stomped on it.

"Oh," Silvius said simply and he felt his eyes heat up with tears. His heart hurt and he was trying really hard to hold back a sob. "I'm sorry, I just thought..." We were more than that, Silvius thought, thank God he didn't come out to Landon.

"Silvius, you know what I mean right? We can't..."

"I get it!" Silvius snapped as tears rolled down his eyes shocking Landon. He didn't want to show Landon how he felt, how much those words hurt him but he couldn't help it. "We are just friends and just friends don't go around hugging and kissing each other on the cheeks. I won't do it again." Silvius said, his voice dripping with hurt and anger. "I have a class to be in," Silvius said and walked away.

Silvius was shaking when he got to class. He was grateful that he and Landon didn't have the first period together. He knew he promised Landon never to leave him but gosh he was hurting, his hands were shaking and tears blurred his vision. Landon hurt him so much. Maybe it wouldn't have hurt as much if Silvius wasn't in love with Landon, but still.

"Are you alright?" Silvius heard a voice say besides him and he nodded quickly as wiped his tears. He wasn't ok but he didn't have a choice, Landon didn't want him like that. He made it clear and Silvius was going to try his damn hardest to stay just friends with him.

Not my favourite chapter but eh.