The virgin & the bad boy (Gravity)

Chapter 42/Kindra Soul and the new face of Upchuck

A/N Hi. It's a great week for Gravity as we popped up to 28 which we are totally pleased with. So thanks for all your reads votes, comments and every recommendation. So this week we introduce Kindra Soul and a chapter we really enjoyed. Have fun.  RK+Reb.

It was the morning after the launch party. Despite organising a romantic interlude for everyone I forgot my self. I sat slumped in bed with the memory of me kissing Dante stuck in a loop in my brain, it was like one of those song's you couldn't get out of your head. I so needed to get a replacement brain this one was worn out. Also someone had replaced my tongue and throat with sand paper for some reason.

"Madam is not feeling well?" said Kentro.

"How did you guess that?" I said.

"Jasper informed me," said Kentro.

"Jasper?" I asked.

"Jasper The toilet Miss" said Kentro refilling the coffee cup.

"How did it guess that ? Was I passing water in a weird way today?" I said.

Kentro straightened up the room. "In an manner of speaking miss, the toilet monitors your biological output to assess your medical state."

"Hang on your saying I'm basically taking a dump on top of a chemistry set?" I said 

"In a manner of speaking, yes madam" said Kentro.

"Wow I'm so glad I didn't get the honey bucket chemistry set when I was seven. That would be a bad day. Hey Kentro if I ever need to get a present for an evil seven year old remind me to get them a toilet chemistry set."

My friend Catz's half brother, it would have been an ideal gift for him. Nothing says 'I don't like you' and 'what little respect I ever had for your was washed away last Tuesday by accident', more than a honey bucket chemistry set.

You know if someone made a kind of evil version of ToysRUs they would really clean up with that. You know a toy shop where all the toys are just a little bit, whats the right word, cruel. Cruel in a 'I really resent having to buy you a gift but I'm technically your step aunt and I have to. So I'm getting you this anyway so now you know it's not my idea and I didn't want to do it in the first place ' way. Something that really said - 'no I didn't get it from a convenience store down the road five minutes ago' but says 'I really spent time looking for something which really was completely suited to you and how much I dislike you' way. They would really clean up.

me" I said.Funny thing about going round ToysRUs. When ever I went round ToysRUs I always like spotting the category of evil gifts. Like 'your mother is OCD and this dirt based toy really will push all her compulsive cleaning buttons' worm farm kit. You know the Toys I really like to spot are things like those massive electric toy cars big enough to drive round in which just scream 'I'm sorry I divorced your mum, you're going to love me for this, also and (this is possibly the best bit) all her gifts will look lame in comparison and she will have nowhere to put this so she can't pretend I never get you anything to her friends' line of gifts. My evil toysRus would also contain birthday gifts for brothers or sisters you really didn't like. Things like a make-your-own-Dignitas suicide machine kit and the make your own weapons of mass destruction chemistry set with out the gas mask. My favourite would be 'mom I think Jonny is making something which looks and chemically tests like crystal meth in his bedroom' kit it would have an endorsement from Bryan Cranston on it. 

After a while Evil ToysRUs could expand out into evil-Babies-are-us. I just love those expensive artisan baby shops like Alex and Alexa. You know those really swanky baby gift shops. The ones where you pay a small fortune on baby clothes which the baby will out grow by the time you have got them on. The ones which just scream 'Wow I never thought you of all people would be able to reproduce, well done'.