My Revelation {Mikayuu}

Sarcoid. [15]

You cannot perceive it.

How agonizing it truly is.

You are blind, I swear it.

Unable to see, you trust me.
Trust me to never betray you.
Never leave you.

I cannot say the same for myself.
I do not know who I truly am,
What I act like.
So I cannot trust myself.
Funny, right?
I can't remember who I was.
So I can't trust my own mind.
My own hands.
My own gifts.

.....
Hey, Yuu?

How come my skin isn't normal?

Shouldn't my blood be red?

Wouldn't that make my Skin like yours?

.......

Huh.

Can't remember the answer to that.

...

You probably shouldn't come into my room.

ℳ.

You came in anyway.
I left one letter at your door,
But you still came running to my aid.
I would have been fine without your worrying.

I think.

You seemed surprised at the sight of my blood.

It was the color and consistency of liquid Mercury.

Something that shocked even me.
You asked me a simple question.

Why?

Why did I do this to myself?
I'm sorry to say, but I had to know.
It kills me, not knowing.
Not knowing what I am.
While you were attending the wound,
I expressed this to you,
My need to confirm how inhumane I was.

You shook your head, muttering quietly.
Your brows were knitted from my words.

'You feel the same emotions as us. You speak like us and act like us. As far as I'm concerned, you're just as human as the rest of us.'

Those were the words you uttered.
Such simple sentences.
Maybe they were spoken by others,
In a work of fiction, now made cliché.
But they somehow managed to change me.

Change my view on myself.

Yes, as far as I was concerned,
I was human.
If you thought so,
Then it must be true.

Right?

I felt horrible.
You said the sweater was your mom's.
Now it was crumbled in my lap,
Stained silver with my blood.
God, why did I do that?
You didn't look disappointed.
Or sad.
But my intuition told me something.
You were both of those at the same time.
But you hid everything.
You didn't want to make me fell bad,
Right?
Because once I noticed how you felt, I felt horrible.

But, like you, I hid it.

"So you only managed to shift twice?" Yuu inquired in a low voice, leaning over to me on the table. Because of the incident of yesterday, rumors had begun to spread of what he was doing in my room. None of our group was able to disperse them, so we let them stay.
"Mhm. I can't figure out why."
"Damn." He sighed, tapping his fingers on the table. We had agreed on taking curry for lunch, the half eaten bowls in front of us.
"It's not like we don't have any time to try and find out, anyway." I shrugged, stabbing a fork into the curry.

"You have a point." He nodded, returning to his own food.

"Yuuichiro, could you meet me at the cliff after school? I gotta talk to you about something." Min asked, seating herself across from us. I fiddled with the bandage stuck to my arm like glue.

"Sure. Something wrong?"

She waved her hand as if to say maybe. When she glanced to me I knew she wasn't able to talk to him purely because of my presence.
"Elaine said that tonight's dinner is going to be delicious!" Chi said happily as he joined the table.
"Which nationality?" Tetsuya asked, attention drawn to the mentioning of dinner.
"Uh... She didn't specify. Probably mine? I know that you have another rice dish, and Korea's got Kimchi."
"Score." Min said quietly.
"What do I have?" Alan asked, eyes growing bright.
"Uhm.... Tafelspitz." My large friend said uncertainly.
"Ooh, nice." He said with a small grin. He gave a thumbs up to someone across the room. Magnus, no doubt.
"I guess I'll have yours. Sounds pretty good." Marco commented. Alan laughed, bright teeth revealing themselves. His friend flushed pink at his side.
"Magnus would be glad to hear that, he loves Tafelspitz." He said, still laughing at whatever he found so funny.
"Seriously, the chemistry's on their side." Tetsuya whispered to Yu and myself, a grin on his face. My friend shook his head.
"It seems like a factor."
"It sure as hell is!" He laughed, high fiving me behind Yuu's back. He faltered for a moment.
"When did you injure your arm?"
"Yesterday. Accidentally cut it looking for something." I lied, an easy task for me. Hiding that you weren't the same as everyone else helped.

"Oh."

I glanced to Min and Yuu, wondering what they were going to talk about after school.

I knew they would meet after I finished working- today I only worked for two hours. Both of them had to help clubs.

They would be talking in public, I noticed.

So, would a third party hidden in the shadows be suspicious?