My Revelation {Mikayuu}

Thorny. [27]

"You have to focus. If you don't accept that damn thing as a part of you, you're screwed, Mikaela." Iris instructed as she paced in front of me, Yuu perched like a cat on the benches of the gym. He watched our literature teacher (the substitute was gone and thank god he was)'s  rushed movements with an alert eye.
"I know that," I snapped, a biting tone in my voice. She stopped moving, eyeing me curiously. "Sorry. That was rude of me." I said quietly, heat rushing to my cheeks. Where did that come from?
"No... its fine." She continued pacing, counting something on her hands.

"Mika," Yuu began behind me as my mind progressively began to feel as if it would genuinely explode. "You had managed to shift once before. How?"
My mind went blank. That time-
Yuu had taken a photo. Of my wings. I had achieved that state through pure concentration although I couldn't shift back.

"It won't work." I said quietly.
"What?"
"I didn't shift on my own. My... other self assisted me. I'll explain that theory another time, but pure concentration will not help me in any sort of way."

"Bingo." Iris said cheerily, rocking on her heels as she paused her march. "Concentration is only key for those who have never shifted. The actual reason may vary, but you need to become one with your power."

"You sound like a wise old hermit." I commented, staring at the ruby shining brightly at me. It flickered from one end to another happily. She got offended as Yuu laughed from his perch.

I couldn't shift that day.

Or the next.

David was a good way of forgetting my issue, with his kind words that affected me without him noticing. Corinna was a way of settling, on the other hand. She visited me at strange times for no reason other than to ask me how I was doing. But I felt oddly comfortable around her.

Like a sister.

Hitoshi, on the other hand, purely existed to try and get me and Yuu to commit a lot of PDA in public- especially the gardens, which was apparently a place where families could meet when they're all in town.

Yuu had neglected to tell me that.

I... did not realize something until then.

I needed a break.

A breather.

Yuu... was the only person to notice it.

That I was overwhelmed.

By so many people coming into my life at once. Of the truth laying in wait of what I had done to betray my people. Of the fact that I couldn't control what I was born with. Of my work.

It had become too much the day when Min had brought up a question about how I couldn't know who I really was. It was before the others had joined us at lunch, but that didn't matter.

My mind was strained.

One side wanted to answer cheerily and with as much help as I could offer.

The other wanted to snap at her to shut up.

Neither got a chance to come through in the end.

I ended up crying.

Much like the last time my mind failed to predict my own actions, I had bawled my eyes out. Yuu was prepared this time, although startled at first.

He placed a hand around my shoulder, helping me from the table. Everyone else in the room had gone silent, gazes trained on us and only us. "Was it something I said?" Min asked, voice strained. He shook his head, giving her a reassuring smile before I was removed from the dining hall.

The broad wooden doors closed with a loud thud. The hall was empty, a faint smell of dust very... out there. Yuu released his grasp on me, lowering his head to look at me.
"Mika," he croaked. Heartbreak was across his face as if it truly killed him to see me like this. "Are you alright?"

I shook my head, pushing the heels of my hands against my eyes. "I cannot do anything, Yuu. My power means nothing for the obstacles the world has set up before me." My voice was almost as broken as his. There were shaky pauses from the tears spilling out of my eyes like a pouring rain.
"You've been doing fine." He said quietly.
"I don't even know how to fly without you by my side."
"You're strong."
"I deserved this. If I had betrayed my own kind."
"Stop." He hissed.

Hiniku was almost screaming that we did not betray our people. I didn't listen to him.
"I can recite to you seventy two digits of Pi but I cannot tell you my own age."
"Mika," He began once more, the agonizing expression he wore only getting worse.
"I cannot tell you why we are connected when I know for a fact that I used to know and hate it. I loathe this uselessness. I despise never being enough."

Yuu paused my rambling when he pressed his face to my shoulder. He couldn't look me in the eye anymore. When he spoke, his words were muddled and almost inaudible.

"You're enough for me."

His words did not stop my tears.

The Dean had (rather reluctantly) given me the rest of the day off. Iris, Min, and Yuu all vouched for me that I was overwhelmed by the amount of work I had been receiving. I was greatful, of course, but Iris sending Alana to me so she wouldn't have to deal with her was too much. I was taking a photo of the distant ocean when Chi's sister burst in. The photo was to not forget about Lucas, if you were wondering. It had been placed next to the photo of Iris a few minutes later as the visiting nurse settled in at my desk, commenting about how 'inhumanely neat' it was.
"I fall asleep on my desk a lot. So... if I cry on my documents while I'm sleeping, it wouldn't end up good." I said absently. She had looked at me for a long while after I spoke.
"That's not normal."

"So I've been told." I nonchalantly shrugged it off, sitting crossed legged on my bed as I bottled up the rest of my emotions. Yuu had left for his classes and swore to me that I would be staying with him tonight if it was the last thing he ever did. Not very helpful, I pointed out. He had gone silent before muttering 'you get my point' and kissing my forehead. By this time he should have been in Chemistry...
"You hurt Yuuichiro, you know that?" Alana said as she leaned back in my wooden chair, dark eyes rather serious.

So... Iris wasn't the one to send her?

"He wouldn't tell me what had happened, but he looked sad. Worse than you."

"But I no longer feel sad."

"You're right. You look tired. Which is strange. But what the hell did you say to hurt such a nice kid?"
Of course, I hadn't entirely processed her words until that moment. When I did, the pounding in my skull was back. Those warring opinions of mine.

"Whatever spewed from my mouth at the time."

I couldn't remember.

Why?

Why couldn't I remember this one little thing?

No, it wasn't little.

I had hurt Yuu.

It was a giant thing.

Dammit, Mika.

You should have remembered.

"You should apologize to him."

"...I know."