you are [ pjm ]

thirty-nine.

Jungkook has been an annoying little shit lately.

"Are you sure you really don't want to see Jimin hyung anymore?" the said boy asks you the same question for days now and you aren't even surprised about it; just plainly irritated.

"Do I have to?" you decide to question back, eyes not tearing off the laptop screen. "I mean, I've broken it off with him a long time ago. I don't see the point of getting together."

"But-"

"And besides," you quickly cut him off. "he's living the life of a model, Kookie. The last thing the world would want is to have some journalist meddle with his perfect ass life."

Jungkook stares are you intently, not really knowing how to respond to such a difficult statement. He responds any ways, "But you guys were friends and not to mention- had a thing going. I know I shouldn't have said that, but I just did."

"That's from the past. Don't bring up what's been done." you sigh, the boy getting on your nerves even more than he already is.

"I'm bringing it up because it matters, [Name]. It held a huge part in your life- our lives." Jungkook tries to argue back, voice sounding too desperate for something.

"What's with you, really?" you ask annoyingly, finally making eye contact. "I thought you despised Jimin and now you're acting as if he's someone dear to you and you want him to get back together with your best friend, me." you made sure to put emphasis on some of your words.

"Who said I despised him? You do know he was my best friend too. Way before I met you." he argues back. "And I never said anything about having you two to get back together again."

"That's what you're trying to imply."

"God, [Name]."

"This conversation is over." you deadpan, about to look at the monitor again when Jungkook says something absurd.

"You're acting as if he's a stranger to you now."

Silence.

A moment of silence.

"..... That's because he is a stranger. I don't know him anymore, Jungkook." you say faintly, turning sad by a split second.

"That's not true at all!"

"The Jimin I knew and loved back then is long gone. He's a different person now, too different for my liking and I hate it. I hate how he turned out to be." you say, slowly breaking down. Jungkook stares at you, eyes glossy as well.

"[Name]..."

"Please," you turn to him. "please just leave me alone. I want to be alone for now, Kookie."

"I miss you, [Name]." Jungkook suddenly blurts out, causing your tears to stop running for a second before they fall again. "I miss the old you so much. I wish... I wish you were still the [Name] I knew back then who didn't drown herself into work to get rid of someone from her mind. I wish things didn't fuck up so badly, then I would still get to see my best friend's genuine and happy smile every time." he goes on, tears threatening to fall.

"Trust me," you sadly respond. "I wished that too, a long time ago."

Deep inside of you, you know you want everything to go back to how it was back then, even though there were some misconceptions each time. Still, precious memories were made: you still being on college with Jungkook and having fun with him endlessly despite midterms, crushing on the most popular guy in the campus and dating him, finding out about your memory loss--- every, single moment.

Most of all, you wish you still had the man you loved even more than yourself back into your arms.

You wish Jimin would know how much you still actually love him. Even if it's too late now.

Wiping away your tears, you realize that Jungkook has already left; probably to prevent you to see the weak and soft side of him, even though you already had a couple of times. You're kinda glad that he did, though. At least he wouldn't see how much of a mess you are right now.

With a deep breath, you dry your face with a towel and tried to focus back on work. But a particular message from someone causes your actions and heart to stop.

jimin: hey.... you didn't block me, right? please tell me you didn't.

___

been forever since i updated and i ended this chapter with a cliffhanger. oops (;
how have you guys been though?!

can we just-

*dead*