Why Try

Chapter 25

I have been pacing up and down the hallway for about half an hour now. Justin called me after his session had finished and told me he will be fifteen minutes but that was ages ago and I'm annoyed because what I need to tell him is playing on my mind, I need to get it out. I went back into the bedroom and picked up my phone off the nightstand and unlocked it. I typed Justin's number in and pressed call, he better answer me.
"Hey babe what's up?"
"Justin where are you? You said you was gonna be fifteen minutes"
"I just got out my car now I'm at the door"
"okay".
I hung up and headed downstairs. The door opened and Justin stepped in and smiled at me, I haven't seen him come home with a smile like that in so long. Toulouse ran in and started jumping and fussing around Justin's feet, aw he missed him. So cute. I'm guessing the session went well.
"Hey baby" he said and gave me a kiss "hey, how did the session go?"
"It actually went really good, I feel so much better about myself". This is so good to hear and I'm glad he is getting better, he looks happy, his smile is bigger and brighter god I love him so much. "Justin I have something to tell you" his face changed and he just stared at me "what?"
"Erm..." my mind has gone blank and my stomach is turning, I feel sick. What if he takes the news badly or what if he walks out or what if he walks away?.
"Babe?" I jumped a little, I didn't realised I was day dreaming for long.
"Y-yeah do you want to erm have dinner tonight?"
"Yeah sure. Why are you acting weird?" "I'm not. I don't even know why I got nervous". I hate lying to him, I can't tell him just yet. Maybe later, I can't even think straight. I walked into the kitchen and got a bottle of water out the fridge, hopefully this will calm me down a little.
Its been about three hours since my little panic episode and I'm now cooking dinner for me and Justin. I'm cooking spaghetti bolognese with garlic bread, Justin's favourite. He's somewhere in the house right now winding Toulouse up, I can hear his barking. Justin has learnt T how to sit, high five, roll over he's so proud of himself for teaching him how to do it. I think I'm gonna tell Justin tonight over dinner. I have to tell him I can't keep backing out of this because of my emotions, he needs to know. I placed the spaghetti bolognese and garlic bread on our plates and set them on the table. I opened the fridge and got Justin a cold beef out and I got a cold bottle of Figi water. "Justin, dinner" I sat down and got comfy and then Justin walked in with Toulouse following him.
"Babe this looks great, thankyou."
"You're welcome".
Dinner is going great. I haven't eaten much of mine because my stomach is turning but Justin on the other hand has nearly finished all of his.
"Are you eating yours?" I took in a deep breath and shook my head.
"I'm not the hungry anymore." He reached over and grabbed my plate and started eating the food, good to see his apatite is back.
"Justin can you stop eating for a second" he looked up at me and put his fork down.
"You know earlier when I said I had something to tell you? And I said about dinner?" He slowly nodded his head with a confused look on his face.
"Well that's not the real thing I wanted to tell you...well erm I'm.. I-I" I can't stop stuttering, god I hate shit like this. "Babe just spit it o-"
"I'm pregnant Justin". I looked at him and he stared back at me. Oh, he doesn't look happy.
"You're pregnant?" I nodded my head and looked down at the table.
"How far along are you?"
"Four weeks" I looked up at Justin and a few tears were slipping down my cheeks. Aw baby. "Justin.."
"I'm gonna be a dad?" I nodded my head as tears filled my eyes.
"I was so nervous to tell you because I didn't want you to be mad"
"Mad? This is the best news ever. I'm going to be a dad!!" Aw he's happy. The nerves I was feeling about five minutes ago have now gone and my heart is filled with love and joy. I'm going to be a mom and Im having a baby with the man I love most. I couldn't be happier.