Multifandom Oneshot Book

Scene - Utterly Degrading

Why had he agreed to this? Oh, that's right, the crew had found a camp of hostile Vistani, a group loyal to Strahd. They needed information, a completely hidden way into Castle Ravenloft. Originally, Strix had suggested Paultin infiltrate, as he was of Vistani blood, and Paultin himself had agreed that it wasn't exactly a bad idea, but Diath had quickly shot that down. Strahd had likely put out the word to look for the bard and mentioned that it would be ideal to have someone who could get in and out sneakily. Which meant he was the most ideal candidate. 

Well, that was something he regretted now.

"Oh, c'mon Diath you're never gonna pass for a pretty lady with that scowl. Give us a smile!"

He gave a heavy sigh at Evelyn's chipper words and adjusted the long and curly black wig and golden jewellery they'd acquired, giving a light tug at the knot on the deep purple scarf around his waist, the candy red dress that clung to his torso highlighting just how not feminine he was. His thin, dainty hands, the only part of him that could even slightly pass as feminine, patted the billowy silken skirts into submission. "If you really think I can pass for a lady at all then I'm severely concerned for your mental wellbeing." He deadpanned, taking the violet, star patterned chiffon scarf from a near hysterical Paultin with a glare. "Why couldn't you just get me a male  Vistani's clothes?"

"I dunno man, you look pretty, pfft, pretty cute to me." The bard was trying so hard to not howl with laughter as the grin stretched his features.

That just earned him a slap from Diath, though the rogue was clearly blushing. "Watch it Paultin."

Evelyn just chuckled, "Okay so you have your silver dagger strapped to your leg right?"

Diath cocked an eyebrow and hitched up his skirts, showing the glinting weapon sheathed at his calf. "Really Evelyn? What kinda rogue do you take me for?" While his words seemed harsh, his tone betrayed mild amusement.

Strix, who previously had been snickering in the corner, walked over and took out her driftglobe, handing it to Diath. "Here, take this. You don't have any spells so you need something to impress them. Oh, also," the teifling reached into her robes and pulled out some soot on her fingertips and began lightly applying it to Diath's face. "Look, your face makes it painfully obvious that you're a guy. If we don't fix it you're gonna be so obvious you might as well be naked."

The rogue held still for Strix to work before accepting the orb with a nod, stowing it in the scarf around his waist, though he had a feeling he'd need more than a driftglobe to convince the Vistani he was one of them. "Thanks, Strix," another sigh, he really didn't want to do this. "Well, I suppose I better get a move on then."

Evelyn nodded, "May the light of Lathander be with you."

Diath chuckled and began making his way to the camp. He could hear the music and celebration already. He only had half a plan but he was good at thinking on his feet, so things shouldn't go too catastrophically.

As he reached the edge of the camp, he saw that a party was, indeed, in full swing. Not many people noticed him, but one particularly inebriated man almost immediately grabbed his hands and pulled him towards the fire to dance. 

He was shocked at first, but he adapted and went with it, matching the other's clumsy movements, making sure to be slightly more graceful than him, but not too graceful. 

As they moved to the fast tempo of the music, Diath was stolen from his first dance partner by another, a man with a dramatically different level of skill. He hardly seemed drunk at all. Diath smiled, laughing lightly and making his voice soft and effeminate. "Oh my, aren't you quite the dancer~"