Rebel || Camila Cabello & G-Eazy

Part 20

Spending the day with Lauren made Camila realize she's given her the bad end of the stick.

They ate their breakfast, went to the mall, and then stayed at the local park for a while. Lauren knew how sensitive Camila truly was, even if she isn't showing it as much.

To be truthful, Camila didn't mean to treat Lauren like shit, but Gerald was someone she protected. She protected him more than she protected herself, and she didn't see how unhealthy that was. While the two girls were bonding again like they used to before, Camila realized how much she missed out when she stopped talking to Lauren. She realized the jokes were still rapidly coming out; the humor never left. She understood the way Lauren saw the world and why she did things the way she did.

Currently, Camila was getting ready to do some shopping, simple stuff. Lauren and Camila never really went grocery shopping, and she wanted to change that.

"Camz?" Camila spun around to face Lauren, car keys dangling from her fingers.

"What's wrong?" Camila asked, trying her best to read Lauren's facial expression.

Noticing the keys, Lauren bit the inside of her cheek. "Er..Nothing. Where are you going?"

"Was just going to go to the grocery store, but you're making me think twice about my trip. What? Are we short on money or something? Did..did what I say about Gerald the other day freak out you?"

"No, it didn't exactly freak me out, but can you sit down for a second?"

Camila wasn't sure why Lauren was approaching her so softly; she thought that was over and done with.

"Sure." And with that she sat down on the sofa and watched as Lauren sat next to her.

"Last night I got a call, and I didn't answer it because I was sleeping but,"

"What are you getting at? Spit it out." Camila was eagerly impatient which made Lauren tense up even more.

"It was from a number I don't know, but they left a voicemail."

"Haha! Was it like a prank? Did they say you won a million dollars or something?" She was so obvious.

"No, Camz. They told me Gerald's funeral was today, later today. They've been arranging it and his parents don't want his body to like, decompose or some shit..I-I don't know they used big words I haven't even...Just don't even know."

"What?"

"They called and said that his funeral is today, I think we should start creating a plan on how to handle it and everythin-"

"That doesn't make sense, Lauren." Camila's eyes changed from happiness to beading anger.

"I have the voicemail if you want to listen to it but I just want to warn you tha-"

"No!" Camila stood up and flung her arms. "I don't need to hear it, I don't need to hear it, I don't need to hear it! Why the hell didn't you tell me about it, huh? You probably knew all along and now you're dropping the bomb on me? You wouldn't done so much better than "big words I don't understand", Lauren what the fuck? You know basic human anatomy and everything about death, how the hell do you not know words like decomposing, rotting, vanishing?"

"Camila calm down. I didn't know about this any sooner than you did."

"Why'd they call you? Huh? Gerald never liked you. You were someone who bothered him, you were a fucking pest."

"A pest? Camila calm down, seriously. I know we weren't friends but that's beside this entire point. They called and said his funeral is today, his parents tried contacting you, but you never check your email, remember?"

Camila froze in place, realizing how stupid she was because it was true. She never checked her emails, even if someone told her to. She didn't even remember the reason she made one because she never used it.

"So, it's..its today?" Her voice was faint, less than a whisper.

"Yeah."

Camila walked away from Lauren, and headed to her bedroom. Locking the door she closed her eyes and slowly slid down in front of it, bringing her knees to her chest and biting down on her teeth; exposing her jaw.

"Camz?" Lauren knocked on the door and sighed, feeling defeated.

"Please go away." Camila whispered, shutting her eyes even tighter.

Her throat felt as if it was on fire, and the lump she knew all too well was back once again. "S-stop." She pleaded, swallowing hard and thick.

Opening her eyes, and crawled over to her bed and snatched Gerald's journal from behind the pillows. She began flipping pages through page, trying her best to find something that can fill the emptiness that was forming.

As she flipped, the entries got sadder and went into great detail on how Gerald felt alone and isolated. He craved even more alcohol, yet the doctors didn't allow him to have any. More song titles, some random drawings as well. She sound letters he wrote to each and every person she knew he encountered some kind of interaction with, which made her close her eyes and take a deep breath. The tears didn't hold back, they poured out of her eyes harder than they ever have before.

Camila weakly grabbed Gerald's blanket and wrapped it around herself, not letting go of either the blanket or journal.

"Camila you can't stay in there forever, you have to come out."

Shut up, shut up, shut up. All Camila wanted was for Lauren to shut up. Out of all people, Lauren was the one who told her when Gerald's funeral was.

The one thought that wouldn't leave her mind was if it was open casket or not. She didn't know if she was able to see his face one more time or have to stare blankly at a casket.

She began to sob; choke on that vicious lump in her throat that she knew all too well. Lauren was alarmed at this point, causing her to open the door with a spare key.

Entering the room Lauren saw the journal and blanket Camila was swimming in and bit her lip. She didn't know what to do, comforting people wasn't strong in comforting anybody, really. Most of the time it ends up in an argument, so her best conclusion was to cuddle Camila until she was calm.

Laying next to the smaller girl, she wrapped her arms around her and laid. The scent of Gerald hit her like a tsunami, causing her to tear up.

She realized how much she missed Gerald, even if they weren't as close and Camila and Gerald were. She missed the fights they'd have, the silly ones of course. She would always try her best to block out the serious ones, which was hard because of how much she was reminded of them.

Camila was shaking, and her breath was clearly shaky as well. Hugging the younger girl tighter, Camila resisted for a second, yet relaxed all her muscles once she realized who was grabbing her.

"He loves you." Lauren whispered.

The only thing Camila could do was shake her head. She didn't understand what Lauren was getting at, Lauren had no idea Gerald loved her because she didn't read the journal.

Or did she?

Maybe she snuck into Camila's room and took the journal, or maybe she just happened to be cleaning up the place and stumbled upon it. The possibilities were endless, and Camila's brain was scattered enough.

"W-what?" Camila choked out, turning her head.

"Gerald. He loves you. He's never going to stop. He wouldn't want to see you like this, he never liked when you were upset."

Camila swallowed and wiped her eyes. Gerald was someone who exactly like that. If he saw her crying, he would try his best to make her laugh or even crack a smile. Camila didn't want him to be looking down at her right now only to see her crying, she wanted him to see her happy and continuing with his legacy.

"I know." Was the only thing Camila could say.