30 Days Left

Day 6540

(7:45 am)

B link. Blink. Blink.

The face stared back blankly. I raised my hand. So did the other. The reflection followed my every move.

Facing myself in the mirror, correction; facing my body for today, is difficult.

Dark thoughts started to creep in. I thought I left them behind yesterday. I implanted the depressions and bad thoughts in my previous bodies before but still, they always return.

I will the dark thoughts at bay. I think I won't implant myself to my body today. You see when I do that, I leave a part of me behind. The part of me that's left, carries dark thoughts, depression, anxiety and what not. If you feel that one day you want to kill yourself? That's me, implanting myself to you. Bad? Yes. Sue me, it's the only way I know.

I stare at my reflection. I look pretty today. Wait, the body does. I always forget. Fair skin, big round expressive eyes, full lips, straight teeth, glossy hair, and the cherry on top; cute perfect dimples. An angel's face.

I don't want to search the memories of my hosts anymore. There's no point in that endeavor. I only get hooked and it makes it harder for me to restart every day. It also makes existing much harder.

Every day of my existence is spent to distract me from the ugly truth of my being. It is the fact that I am nothing. I don't have a body of my own. I don't have memories I can call mine. Even my name's made up.

I start preparing for school. This is the ironic part of me, I love going to school. I have no idea why, but I do.

There's a note left by my parents wishing me a great day and to have fun at school. I don't think that would be possible.

I finish my last pre-school preparations got my keys and set out for the day. Somedays I walk, others I take the bus. Not today. Today I have a car and today I'm using it.

I can tell that I'm popular by the way others swarm to get my attention.

I am greeted by smiles and good mornings. I played along, I smiled back, and said my own greetings.

I can tell my host is Miss Congeniality. Everyone loves her, everyone wants to be friends with her, and everyone adores her. Oh boy.

Classes are crap. This is the downside of changing one's body daily. You would never know consistency, especially in school. The lessons taught in my classes are the same lessons I've heard for the past week. I know this already.

By the time lunch rolled in, I'm majorly annoyed and I've smiled so much my face hurts.

I can't take this. I leave the cafeteria, ignoring people from different tables trying to get my attention.

I drive away from school, slightly grateful no one caught me. I parked my car in an empty space near this diner.

I walk aimlessly, trying to distract myself with the unfamiliarness of my surroundings.

I see a deli across the street. Remembering I haven't eaten anything yet -anticipating a good meal- I cross the street.

Screeeeeeeeee.

A loud screech rang out. I froze. My heart started pounding. I look at my left and saw a car barreling straight towards me. I can't move.

I can hear screams, but my body won't cooperate. I caught a movement at the corner of my eyes. Someone help me, please. A shadow appeared out of nowhere and tackled me to the side.

My eyes closed I hear a deafening crash. Then silence, not a second later the screams sounded again, I can also hear crying.

I can feel my body shaking, "Hey, are you okay?" A guy asked me. My heart skipped a beat. I can't open my eyes.

"Hey are you okay? Can you open your eyes? Look at me." I feel warmth where his skin met mine. My heart still pounding I open my eyes. I look at the chaos in front of me, I take everything in; the cloudless sky, the panicked pedestrians, the crumpled car, then slowly I meet his gaze. My heart fluttered then everything went black.

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