30 Days Left

Day 6550

I saw that dream again.

I've woken up in thousands of different bodies day after day but I never had dreams, except for that one instance I saw her in between the change. The memory of us, the time she named me. That day I woke up, and it was by far the worst day of my existence.

I have a bad feeling about today.

I open my eyes and I wish I hadn't. This room, this bed, and these very sheets. I'm back here, but why? I accessed the memories of my body. I am her cousin and I am here for a last visit.

This can't be. No, please no.

-----

I loved her, I still do, she's my family and the only one I had ever genuinely cared for, but I was the one who did this to her. Because of me she suffered. Because of me she's about to die.

"Come Sophie, Beth's waiting for us." Her mother beckoned me towards her room.

-----

My lungs are burning, my calves are aching, and I'm sweating way too much.

"Alex stop!" Elizabeth shouted behind me.

I did not listen, instead I sped up as much as my exhausted body can forward, to school, to glorious learning.

"Alex! Seriously stop!" She shouted again. This time to accompany her shout she tackled me to the ground to make me really stop.

"What did you do that for?" I asked incredulous.

"You won't listen. It's your fault." She said in a chastising manner.

"My fault? Where late for school and you want us to stop and, chat?!"

"We won't."

"Won't what?"

"Go to school."

"Are you mental? We're going to ditch school?" I asked disbelieving.

I value learning, missed classes for me are an abomination.

"The real Alex would be the one insisting we won't go to school."

Her words caught me off guard. My heart, not yet settled from the running pounded harder.

"Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?" She asked me.

The way she questioned me was not accusing, not sarcastic neither joking. Her question was asked in a matter of fact way, as if it's already settled that I answer honestly.

I try as much as possible not to lie, especially to myself. "I'm nobody." I told her honestly.

"You can't be a nobody. Everyone has a name who are you?" She asked me again.

Her inquiry made me think. I never had a definition and a name. All the superficial things but are important in one's own life

"Do you have a name?" she asked me.

"Do I need a name?" I asked back.

"Of course you do silly. A name is a word that others use to call you. It helps you be found when you're lost." She told me innocently.

Her words, simple and innocent -not meant to harm, but to express emotions and thoughts- hurt me.

The youth of today is our future tomorrow, so one should never lie to them. So I told her the truth, "But I have no one to call me and I'm always lost, so it's useless to have a name."