Rain or Shine (UnWilling Roommates book 2.5)

Scissors & Phobias

Will gets a haircut and works through some of his trust issues.

(Will's POV)

I woke up alone.

This wasn't unusual in itself, but this time I was in my own room, blankets on the floor and sheets hopelessly twisted where I had thrashed in my sleep.

As always when I was by myself for more than thirty seconds, I was gripped by the sudden certainty that everyone had abandoned me, that Bill and Y/N had finally gotten fed up with me and left forever, or that the entire population of the world had vanished at once and I was the only one left and I would have to survive by myself in a post-apocalyptic environment for the rest of my life and I was so completely, utterly alone...

Forcing down my rapidly mounting anxiety, I untangled myself from the sheets and bolted out of my room.  I needed to know right now that I hadn't been abandoned, that I was still of use to Bill and Y/N, that my existence was still worthwhile to someone...

"Morning, dork," Bill greeted. 

I heaved an involuntary sigh of relief and sat at the table across from him.  If he noticed my near-panic, he didn't comment.  He was rather preoccupied trying to eat a bagel without using his injured hands.

"Um... d-do you want some help with that?" I offered hesitantly. 

He shot me a baleful glare.  "I have not yet sunk so low," he said flatly.  He then proceeded to attempt to eat it straight off the plate, smearing cream cheese all over his nose and chin in the process.

The kitchen door opened and Y/N came in, holding a plate with another bagel.

"Morning, Cool Ranch!" she said brightly, clearly noticing Bill's mess yet somehow managing to keep a straight face.

"M-morning," I squeaked as she moved behind me, putting the bagel in front of me before resting her elbows on my shoulders.  Her chin leaned against the top of my head.

"Bagel?" she asked, waving a hand in front of my face.

"Isn't that y-yours?"

She folded her arms in front of my neck.  "I'll make myself another one."

"No, you d-don't have do that!" I said, alarmed.  My anxiety began to rise again as I reflexively refused to allow anyone to go out of their way for my sake, because I didn't deserve it, I was in the way, I was inconveniencing everyone just by existing, I shouldn't-

She moved her elbows until her arms were wrapped around my shoulders, sensing the tension in my body language.

"Shhh, Blueberry, it's okay," she whispered, tightening her grip and derailing my train of thought.  "It's just a bagel.  Just eat it."

My natural urge to avoid becoming a burden warred with the deeply entrenched compulsion to obey any order given to me.  My willpower crumbled almost immediately and I hastily stuffed the bagel in my mouth.  The consequences for disobedience had been beaten into me enough times over the years that even now the fear of retribution weighed heavily in my thoughts; my heart beat faster and my breathing grew shaky as I anticipated the punishment for a single wrong move.

I felt Y/N sigh against my head.  I squirmed uncomfortably, the contact beginning to bother me.  She was close enough that there was no way she hadn't felt my panicked response to her nonchalant command.

She must have detected my discomfort, because she let go and took a respectful step away.  She let one hand trail through my hair as she left, briefly rubbing a strand of it in her fingers.