I love you/I hate you

An Unset Pattern

Lapis hated being gay. 

Not only did she get disowned by her family, but now she's fallen for the biggest asshole she's ever known.

Peridot Diamond. 

She was cold, calculating, and cruel. Ruthless even.

But god damn it she was sexy.

She seemed to just entice Lapis's already awful imagination leaving her a hot and bothered mess every she, oh I don't know, bit her lip when she was concentrating on something, or her little fangs she bared when she was pissed off, even her sweater, which she was extremely protective of, enticed her with how well it conformed to her body. 

Again she will say: she hated being gay.

Lapis let out a groan, earning the attention of the ranting teacher, the science teacher no less, Ms. Bitchface, or as formals call her, Morganite.

"Lapis, is there something you want to share?" Her eyes narrowed. Lapis felt the gaze of her crush glaring at her, why had Lapis chose to sit right next to her?!?!?!! 

Letting out a frustrated sigh, she waved her hand lazily, "No, no, keep talking, not like your going to stop." She growled, looking at the wall.

Amethyst, who Lapis had grown to like, snorted from behind her, "Yo dude." 

Morganites eyes narrowed, "Alright, big shot, what comes after the 69th element."

"Mouthwash?" Lapis said without thinking, she swore she could see all the veins on the bitches face as she glared daggers at her.

"OUT!" She screamed, pointing a finger towards the door. Lapis shrugged and gathered her things, but then she heard a soft chortle and turned to see Peridot. The whole class went dead silent as the girl continued to laugh, "Holy shit!" She breathed, "You're even dumber than I thought!" She howled with laughter and grinned wickedly at Lapis.

Holy shit my heart, stop staring at me like some feral animal or I will bend you over that desk and fuck the fuck outta you 

Lapis felt her face go beet red and she turned quickly, not wanted Peridot to see but the damage was done. "Aww, Lazulis blushing." Peridot continued to patronize, smirking. "Hey Morgy." Lapis noticed that the college teacher, who was only 26 or 27, blushed hard at the nickname and felt a stab of jealously, "I'm heading out." She stood and followed Lapis out, who growled lowly when she heard a lovesick, "Okay Peridot." 

Peridot closed the door and leaned against it, letting out a relieved sigh. "Finally, I couldn't handle her staring at me like she was about to rape me." 

Lapis stared at her, taking in her beautiful features. The sun danced across her skin, making her practically glow, and Lapis noticed that her emerald eyes now where a light green. "Stop eye-raping me." Peridot snarled, face twisting so she could bare her fangs. 

"God damn it." Lapis breathed, pinning the girl against the door. "Why do I want you so badly? Why am I so goddamn needy!" 

Peridots eyes narrowed as she looked at the taller girl who was leaning against her, her chin resting against her shoulder and breathing in uneven ways, making her whole body ache as they hit her ear in strange patterns. 

She hated this, she hated out unpredictable Lapis was. She wasn't straight forward, Peridot made the misconception of that when she didn't know much about the girl. Now, three months into college, she knew that Lapis was extremely ADHD, and because of that her mood varied. She herself was as erratic as her breath. Her minty and extremely delicious smelling breath. After having every class with the girl, she had taken to studying the girl, not caring if the bluenette noticed. Peridot noticed that most times she was chill, but she could change from chill to angry to sad to chill again. She was incredibly bipolar but it wasn't as severe as what doctors called bipolar, it had to do with the fact her brain worked faster; Peridot reasoned. As a person who was studying technology, Peridot had a dependency on knowing what would happen, a dependency on something that she could predict, programming a task to something and then it would carry it out flawlessly and without question, Peridot lived off of that dependency.