I love you/I hate you

Christmas Eve

Peridot ran her fingers through her hair, staring at the computer screen. Pearl had come into her room earlier and the two of them simply spoke. 

'I loved you Peridot..'

'Then why'd you leave?'

'Because the relationship we had wasn't healthy, maybe if we still had what we once did, we could be together now but..'

'But we both moved on.'

'Have you?'

'Moved on? Sorta. There will always be a place in my heart for you Pearl. Always.'

'And you mine.'

.....

'Are we good now Peridot?'

'...Yeah, we're good.'

Peridot felt, for the first time, that she truly had closure. She truly felt like Lapis wasn't some coping mechanism, no, Lapis was never once a coping mechanism. A part of Peridot wanted Lapis to touch her, a part of her had always wanted Lapis. 

The best way to describe how Peridot felt was..... well she hadn't thought about it enough

She felt light? No that wasn't the word.

"Peridot?"

Peridots head shot up and she stared at Yami, who had shown up at around 4:30 am. Peridot knew this because she was in the middle of a battle on one of the many Pokemon games she downloaded on the computer. 

"Yeah?" 

The girl walked forward, with an expression that Peridot couldn't read on her face. It was happy, sad, angry...guilty? 

What would Yami-

No..

"You knew about Pearl didn't you?" 

Yami looked at her with defeated expression, "I'm sorry. I heard about it last minute. Rainbow Quartz called me and said that a new girl was joining our group, she was busy, though, because she gave me little details before she left. I pieced it together when I met up with Bella." 

Peridot stared at her before shifting her attention to the game that she had turned on her Xbox, she began to speak, "I talked to Pearl," Yami looked up. "Oh?" She hummed, "What did she say?" Peridot glanced over at her then focused on the game for a few moments. 

The room was silent other than the occasional shooting from the speakers on the TV. 

"She said that she loved me but the relationship we had wasn't healthy." She bit her lip and watched as her character crouch as she moved out of enemy fire. "She said that if we had the spark we once did now we could possibly date but we both moved on."

Yami perked up, interest glinting in her golden, and a little brown, eyes. "You moved on?" She inquired, raising a brow. Peridot snorted as she shot someone before moving into the house, "That's what she said." She muttered, almost subconsciously, before she raised her voice to continue. "I told her that there will always be a place in my heart for her." The game ended, Peridot managed to single-handily carry her "team" to victory.

"Fucking casuals." She growled, eyeing the score board in distaste, "Always ruining a would-be-great game." 

Yami eyed her sister in amusement, "Not everyone has the time to lounge about playing Call of Duty all day." She smirked, "Some people have lives."

Earning a middle finger in response, Yami stood, "I'm heading out, getting some last minute presents. Stay out of trouble will you?"

"I promise nothing."

Groaning, Yami walked out, rolling her eyes.

Peridot turned her attention back to the screen before she plugged in her headphones. 

"Oh my god, it's the legend herself."

"MLGSpaceDorito!" 

Snorting, Peridot decided to indulge these familiar people., "Heya clods. Where the fuck are all the good players?" 

"Holy shit!" 

Peridot snorted before laughing, "Alright Ron, quit the fucking act."

The boy on the other line laughed, "Hey Peridot, it's been awhile."

"Yeah, yeah, let's just fucking play-"

"Peridot?"

"Oooh... Peri has a girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend."

"What?"

Peridot glanced up at Lapis, "Sorry, Laps. Ronaldo is being a douche." 

Lapis chuckled and walked over, "Hey Ron!"

"Hey Lapis!"

Peridot rolled her eyes and clicked a button. Soon both her and Ronaldo were thrown in what seemed to be a broken house with zombies chasing them. 

"Fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fuck!" Peridot hissed as she drank a weird green liquid. The zombies rushed forward as well, lashing out to hurt her but she shot them all before rushing over to Rons character. "Ron kill them! I'm getting box!" 

Ron said something in reply but Lapis wasn't listening, she glanced around Peridots room, taking in the sheer amount of posters and pictures on the wall. Sailor Moon, Full Metal Alchemist, Black Butler, Blood Lad, Fairy Tale, Blue Exorcist, and Attack on Titan were a few of them. Above her desk was a large model of some weird spherical creature with what seemed like electromagnetic legs connected to it. Looking at the desk, she saw many of the creatures but they were dismantled and mangled, strewn about, but one was in tact. It was laying on the desk, a dull light shining off it. Robonoids, that's what they were called. Lapis remembers hearing Peridot talk about them at school, saying allot of nerd crap that Lapis didn't bother listening to. 

She glanced back at the screen and saw a dog on fire rushing towards Peridot. "WHAT THE FUCK?"

"Hellhound." Was the simple answer before the dogs head was blown off. Lapis stared at the screen before looking at Peridot, who was grinning manically. "You are awful."

She chuckled lowly before she leaned back, "Ron, what the hell. Stop t-bagging the dead bodies and pay for this fucking door." 

A laugh sounded through headphones speakers and soon said door was opened and Peridot moved her character through it. 

"So how long have you been at this?"

"Eh.. five, six hours?" 

"Jesus shit Peridot."

"What?"

"You need a break."

"Fuck off."

"Diamond."

"Lazuli."

Silence enveloped the two before Lapis growled and turned the console off. 

"Lapis what the hell?!" 

Said girl turned and fixed Peridot with the most horrifying look Peridot has ever seen. She nervously fidgeted before she sighed and pulled off the headset and put the controller and device down.

The Hawaiian picked her up and laid her on the bed before cuddling close to her. A comfortable silence wrapped around the two before Lapis shuffled to get in a better position to talk to her crush, "Did Pearl talk to you?" Peridot looked up, "Yeah, how'd you know?" She took off her glasses and shoved them on the table next to the bed. "She told me she would." 

Peridot nodded and sighed, cuddling closer to Lapis. "I feel better now."

"Oh?"

"Yeah.. I feel.. light.. but that isn't the right word."

Lapis hummed and pulled the girl closer. The two of them stayed like that before Peridot whispered:

"I feel big."