I love you/I hate you

Aftermath

Groaning, a blonde haired girl opened her eyes. Her whole body ached, especially the spot between her thighs. She moved up, looking around the room before it caught up with her.

She and Lapis had sex. And it was in spite.

Holding her head in her hand, she stared at nothingness, shock pulsating through her before a soft voice sliced through her thoughts. "You're awake." the nerd looked at the girl who was wearing a lose t-shirt that showed her shoulders and winced when she saw the bite marks that she had caused. "Lapis, I didn't mean-" The swimmer held up a hand, silencing her. "It's fine Peridot."

She didn't sound fine.

Peridot stared at her, "I called you Pearl." 

Lapis frowned.

"I called you Pearl.." Peridot repeated before she let out a choked whimper, "GODDAMNIT WHY IS SHE ALWAYS RIGHT?!?" She curled in a ball, "I can't admit when I'm wrong, I always had to be right, even.." She felt arms wrap around her tiny frame and cut herself off. She looked up and saw Lapis smiling, "Peridot, I could of stopped, but you would of hated me." She leaned in, "I love you." She brushed her lips against the techs before she moved away. "Do you want to-"

"I don't know. I don't know what I need to do. Lapis.. tell me what to do!" She gazed helplessly at the girl before her. Peridot wasn't used to this, she wasn't used to not having a grip on a situation and she didn't know how to cope without the assurance that she could stop something with a simple command. 

It was one of the many flaws she had. 

Lapis smiled sadly, just like Yami did when she learned that Pearl left her, and murmured, "I can't." 

That was enough to make Peridot want to die.

A week went by and so did exams, today was the 8th of November and Peridot was just getting out of class when she spotted someone familiar. 

"You have got to be kidding me.." She muttered before she approached the girl, who was leaning silently against the wall, smoking. "You're a hypocrite you know." Pearl looked up and fixed her with a gaze. Tension sparked between them before Peridot heard a soft voice call her, "Peri?" Lapis appeared soon after and her smile faded when she saw the dancer.

Peridot sighed, "I need caffeine, want anything Laps?" She looked at the swimmer who shook her head, "I have a competition this Saturday, I'm not going to be drinking anything sugary for a little bit." She smiled, "Thanks though." She leaned over and kissed the girl, mostly to rub it in Pearls face -though the dancers expression didn't change, much to her displeasure- and watched the girl walk off, a small blush on her face. 

"Just to spite me huh?" Pearls voice came out soft, like petals falling from a tree. Lapis almost liked it but one thing made the pleasure fade. 

This girl hurt Peridot. 

"You seemed to do allot of things to spite Peridot, what's the harm in revenge?" She shot at the thin girl, who shifted her eyes to land on her. "I didn't intentionally hurt Peridot, have you ever seen Peridot drunk?"

"I work at a bar, of course I have." Came Lapis's sarcastic reply, but Pearl was unaffected. "No, have you ever seen her horny and drunk, it's scary Lapis. It's scary how twisted that girl can be." This made the girl frown, "Peridot isn't the twisted one here. I heard stories of Peridot happy and carefree, I see pictures of her smiling, so innocent, so pure- then you come and taint her. You broke her Pearl, you shattered her!" She clenched her fist, "You're so beautiful too, why is it always the pretty ones that do the most damage?" 

"You're pretty too." 

"But I'd never hurt Peridot the way you did. If Peridot is really as awful as you say she is drunk, then you're twice as bad sober." With that, Lapis turned but a hand stopped her.

"I know how awful I am Lapis, I don't need anyone to tell me that. I wanted Rose to kill Steven for fucks sake!" She gave a pained laugh, making the Hawaiian turn and stare at her. "Nothing, nothing I can do will fix Peridot. I broke her, shattered her, but I feel so bad for it. You hear stories, I have memories. I remember how innocent and pure she was, I remember never having to cheer her up, I remember the unrequited love that we once shared. But nothing good ever lasts Lapis. I loved her. I still do, but I can't bring myself to hurt her again. That would.." She paused, checking if the Hawaiian was listening, which she was, before continuing, "That would be too cruel." 

Lapis frowned, "Dealing with an alcoholic isn't easy, I would know, my dad was one, but if you truly love someone, you wouldn't care. Peridot is far from perfect, in fact she's the most imperfect thing I can think of, but I love her anyway. She has so many problems, problems I notice. She has ungodly amounts of anxiety, she's antisocial, she's addicted to caffeine, and she's an alcoholic-or at last a recovering one- but I don't care. I would give anything to make her happy, because that's what love is. That's what love should be, not this endless battle of pain and suffering. What you two had wasn't love Pearl, it was lust. You didn't love her, not from what I'm hearing." She turned, "Goodbye Pearl, it was nice talking to you." With that she walked off, catching sight of Peridot who was in earshot of the entire conversation.

"Lazuli-"

"Let's go home Peridot." 

That was the day that Peridot moved in with Lapis.