by your side [daveed diggs]

22

Adelaide

I walked out of the bathroom then walking back to the table seeing that everyone was already saying their goodbyes to each other. I felt so drained of my emotions, this whole day was freaking roller coaster of emotions. And it didn't seem to stop.

Philipa walked up to me with a questioning look.

Please don't ask me anything about Anthony or Jasmine.

It looked like she read my mind as she replaced her questioning look with a small smile. She gave me a hug and then we exchanged numbers. She told me that she would love to talk to me and hang out but I didn't really follow up so I just nodded my head quietly. With one last hug she also left. I felt like so much weight has been put on my back, I just wanted to leave and never come back.

"Hey are you okay?" A hand had put itself on my shoulder making me flinch. Turns out it was Lin.

I forced on a smile when I looked at him. "Yeah. I just..." Daphne and Daveed were talking to each other quietly. Daphne had dyed her hair into a lighter shade of brown, I just noticed that now. And I also noticed how her hand was on thigh. I felt sick. "I have to go." I mumbled my smile fading. For a second Lin looked concerned his brows frowned and he followed my gaze. Immediately the frowning fell and tried his best to cover it up with a reassuring smile.

Everyone knows.

Stop pitying  me.

"Alright, if there is anything you need. Here." He took my phone that was still left in my hand. Though I didn't notice. I only noticed how Daveed was kissing her.

Her. Not me.

"Hey."

I blinked and then looked at Lin, who looked concerned.'"I'm going to go now, bye." I took my purse then went straight to the door that lead me to my freedom. Avoiding looking back at Daveed, he probably didn't even notice that I left. I felt a pang of jealousy run through but it was my fault. Everything was my fault. And this wasn't freedom the cool air did not wash away those emotions. I rubbed my wet eyes dry as I walked down the street, not sure where to go. I was lost in my own mind while walking. My mind was blank besides all these negative points running through them. I just want to cry right now.

It was night and cold. No stars shone tonight. The sky was just dark in lit up by city light.

I hated not being able to see the stars when I am looking up. So the next thing I decide is going somewhere I couldn't look at the sky and expect any thing shiny. I went down to the train station. Sitting down on one of the benches I watched people walk past me walk into and out of the train. I tried to forget my heavy broken heart and focus on the people. All where different people with different fascial expression. It was amazing how each interacted with other or none. I leaned back in my seat. Letting out a long sigh looking down at my phone. An hour had passed by just me sitting on a bench. I didn't feel like going home...

So the next thing I do is jump into a train and sit down in it. I watch people walk in and out. The number of people lessen and lessen till its just me alone in this side of the train.

Does this train never stop?

My first thought since I stepped into this train. I felt completely drained. All I felt was my heart against my chest and the vibrations of the train. I leaned my head against the window feeling tired of everything. I closed my eyes let the darkness take over.

I didn't wake up on the train but in locked toilet stall. I told myself not to fall asleep on a train or on an open train station as I would probably get mugged while being asleep. Standing up I stretched myself and unlocked the door walking out of the stall I then washed my face with cold water. It wasn't the worst night of my life, I once was forced to sleep in much smaller toilet stall because my friends would not stop trying to hook me up with someone. I looked terrible but I looked worse. I ran my hand through my hair and then put into a high pony tail. I flatten my clothes and straighten myself.