love is unexpected

16.

AN: here we go again! I hope you all like this chapter. Sorry it's short!! I'll more than likely update later as well. So don't worry, be expecting another chapter in a few hours

VICS POV

In my whole life, I have never felt more lonely then I have been this last month. I have never felt more guilty, and never had so much hatred towards myself, and Oliver. I know it's wrong of me to blame him, it was my fault. It's been days since I've left my bed, I didn't have any motivation to do anything anymore, whether it be school, band practice or even talking to friends or family. Most days Mike would come in and talk to me, try to get me to leave my room. Or at least shower. My parents would bring my meals up, and I haven't seen my mother cry as much, if I as in anyone state I would be strong for them, but I physically can't. The feeling of numbness + nausea was so overwhelming. It was slowly taking over my life.
For weeks and weeks I've been playing scenarios over, and over and over. I only wish that they were true, for in these scenarios, Kellin was laid in my arms, sleeping peacefully, as I run my fingers through his hair, just admiring his beauty.

I open my eyes, hearing my bedroom door squeak. I look over and see Mike, I sigh sadly, hoping it was Kellin for whatever reason. Everyday my faith gets slimmer and slimmer. Mike pulled my desk chair up to beside my bed and sat down, looking emotionless. It was always hard to read mikes emotions, he was never one to show them often, maybe he did it to keep up his 'bad boy' reputation.

"Vic, you haven't eaten you breakfast" he says quietly, picking up the plate with the untouched pancakes. When I don't reply he sighs loudly, placing it back on my bedside table.
"It's not healthy what you're doing, you look ill. Vic you're scaring me. I need you to shower, and I'll change your bed sheets while you do, okay?" He said in a demanding yet caring way. I was so close to denying, and just curling into a ball to cry once again, but he was my baby brother.

"Okay" was my reply, my voice croaky from not talking in days, I sit up, my head feeling dizzy, I looked down at the clothes I had been wearing for the last week, one of kellins oversized shirts, and some black joggers.
Once in the bathroom I locked the door quickly, both doors. I stared at myself in the mirror, what I saw made me cringe. I was pale, ill looking. My hair had thinned and looked knotted, it was visible that I had lost weight, my arms were no longer toned, they were slim and twig like. All of a sudden o felt sick, I rushed to the toilet and threw the little of my food. Most of it was acid + bile. It burnt my throat and mad me feel even more disgusting.

Crying in the shower was the best, as no one can hear you and it cleans away the salty tears. After about a hour of doing so, I decided to wash my hair, and clean my body, my arms were aching already. I stepped out and wrapped a towel round my waist. Making sure to not look at myself again.

Mike was sat on my bed when I came out of the bathroom, he was on the phone, but as soon as he noticed me the call soon finished. He had took my plates out, changed my bed sheets, polished snd got me a clean set of pyjamas and underwear out. I felt pathetic, my younger brother had to take care of me. It was wrong.

"Vic, Kellin rang me" those words were like music to my ears, my eyes must of lit up.

"he said to give you his number" Mike passes me my phone with Kellin's number already in. Yes I did have his number before but he must of changed it or got a new phone. Every time I tried to ring it would go to voice mail, or say 'this number is no longer available' I smiled down at my phone changing the contact name to 'my kells'. I clicked on change picture and chose the photo where we were having a movie day and he fell asleep on my lap, I had to take a photo, he was so gorgeous. It was by far my favourite photo, not just of him but of all time.

Mike was gone and I was sat by myself, staring at my phone. Should I text him? What if he ignores me? What if Mike was lying and it wasn't even his number?

My kells

Hey..
sent at 12:32

{•••}
Read. At 12:33