love is unexpected

18.

Guess who it is bitches, ok I'm so so sorry!! I just i don't know lost inspiration but after reading your comments I've become re-inspired to finish this fanfic!!
Once again I'm extremely sorry I promise I'm here now.
Without wasting anymore time, enjoy

ALSO 12k IS UNREAL THANK YOU SO SO MUCH BABIES

Days went by so slow, I couldn't bring myself to talk to anyone, I spent hours re-reading the messages between me and Kellin.. MY Kellin. I was hoping and wishing to see those three dots appear... They never did. Instead all I saw was my message marked 'read'. Even though I should've been at school a week ago now, I'm just not fit to be there in my state. My parents tell me it'll be good to go out, re socialise, they say it'll 'make me forget about the sadness' I never expected them to understand what depression feels like. Every single day since he left, I've been in a constant fight with myself and I don't know whether to be angry at myself or feel sorry for myself. In the end if I hadn't messed up, he would still be here, living under this roof. It's my fault, it's all my fault and I deserve to feel like this, I deserve to suffer and wallow in self hatred.

Mike eventually admitted how Kellin didn't ring to give me my number but to I fact check up on everyone else. He said he 'thought it would work' which it obviously did not. I regularly think of how everything used to be, when I first saw him, his beautiful eyes stood out instantly, I think of how his cheeks would go all chubby when he laughed and made a snorting noise which caused us to laugh even more.. Until our stomachs hurt. How he used to kiss me, how soft and gentle his lips were, and I think of how someone else is lucky to be loved by him, have all his perfections and is lucky enough to love him. To love my kells.

49 days. Since he stepped foot on that train. 27 days since he last text me. 50 days since I've been happy.

I click the home button on my phone 12:34 am, a large sigh leaves my lips. I place my phone back under my pillow and turn on to my side. There was clothes and plates all over the floor, most plates with the food still on, probably growing mould. Who knew. Now Mike was back at school he had hardly anytime to talk with me, which made me sad, but again it's my fault. Him and Alysha are getting pretty serious, he's always with her, he also has a part time job at a music shop in town, which is great! So I understand why he has no time to come talk to me anymore. He's trying to live a normal teenage life and doesn't need his low life, older brother to bring him down.
As for my parents, I've actually been making a effort to talk to them and try and make them less upset about the situation, I told my mother everything, and she understands, she tried to make me join counselling but I declined politely. Despite being so down and depressed, my family means everything to me and they do come first, and since the days have gone by, I've got stronger, mentally and most days I get out of bed, shower, and go downstairs to talk for maybe half an hour or so. Which is honestly a massive improvement.

I sit up and look around, daring to open the curtain, but then decide its best to leave it, it's been so long since I've been in the light I've probably become Edward Cullen II. Taking my phone again, I open my messages, scroll though my contacts, until I find what I'm looking for.

HimeTime

Hey.. Wanna come over?
Sent 12:35

Please..
Sent 12:35

    Vic!! Man. Of course, I'll be there in a jiffy
Delivered 12:36

My heart lifted lightly, I was so scared about seeing Jaime, they must all be mad at me, for blocking them out and just isolating myself for so long. I couldn't go any longer, I needed someone to talk to, I'm practically going insane taking to myself everyday, I know it's not healthy and I need help. After getting changed into fresh clothes and spraying deodorant, I threw a beanie over my bed hair, and jogged down the stairs, just in time too. The door bell rang, and before I could open it the door opened and Jaime came rushing in. He looked at me for 5 seconds in shock before walking over and hugging me tightly, I wrapped my arms around him, enjoy the human contact that I haven't experienced in such a long time. I could feel tears coming along, which I didn't want at all. I managed to hold them back however.

"I've missed you Vic" My best friend muttered as he moved out of the hug, I look down at the ground, full of guilt. I'm such a awful person for doing this, I only think about myself. Fuck vic, you idiot.

"I'm really sorry, I just.. It's been so hard, a kind of sadness came over me, and it took over my body, I couldn't eat, bathe, move anything. I was completely incapable of feeling anything but regret. I never wanted to block you out, but I felt like I deserved to be alone, after what I did" I explain to Jaime while walking to the living room, so we can both sit down and be more comfortable. I knew Jaime would understand I told him everything about me and Kellin. He knew, well knows how much I care for him.

"Vic, I know. I mean of course I have no idea what you're going through, but I understand why you would block everyone out, you just need to remember that life goes on, and everything happens for a reason. Vic I love you okay, you're my best friend and I want to see you happy, so Im going to help you. I know it may sound absolutely absurd .. butt maybe the reason Kellin got on that train, was for you to chase after him, show him how you truly feel. It's like one of those romance films, except your 2 month late in chasing after him" Jaime laughed to himself, making a smile appear on my face too, which actually felt really good and it was a relief to know I hadn't forgotten how to smile "never mind that though! It's better late then never ay?"

"So what are you proposing here, Jaime? "I ask cautiously, maybe messaging him was a bad idea, he's crazy. Actually Insane.

"Pack your bags, your Prince Charming awaits"