A Fictitious Relationship

Shawn POV

Many reading today's headlines will be convinced that this world is too unstable – how can you subject children to such a place? And you can hardly blame them. Trying to raise a child in our current culture can feel like trying to raise a flower in the crack of a New York City sidewalk. But while fear and anxiety are natural, the choice to be fruitful is an enduring and courageous. Babies are renewers, ground breakers and world-shakers, bearers of new seed, heralds of a new age" Instead of letting the problems around us frighten us away from having children, we should recognise God's pattern of using new life to fix those problems, to bring renewal and fresh hope.

Maybe it was because I wasn't the one who had to really do the hard work. In my life I had always imagined all of these positives about being pregnant and having children. But I wouldn't have to carry the children for nine months, I wouldn't have to be careful with what I eat and drink and do. I wouldn't have to change my every day life because I'm growing a human inside me. I wouldn't have to take time off work, well not until the baby was born anyway. Then everything would change and of course it would be a lot of work for me but I wouldn't breast feed. I wouldn't be at home with the baby all day, every day. I couldn't do any of that, God just didn't design men like that. Probably because he knew the responsibility was too big and when you gave men a lot of responsibility they had a tenancy to crash. 

Then again, he designed man to reproduce but...

But she couldn't do that. 

Despite the fact that her body was carefully constructed! Her body is a temple of which holds power far beyond that of my sperm! She is the one who should carry the child for nine months with the emotional support of her partner. Make sure that what she consumes is good for the baby. Work in tandem with the father to construct a way to work through it together and grow a child. Raise a child together. She was supposed to give birth one day and live the world hope. And that all had been taken away by one man. One selfish man. 

I don't think she knew how much it angered me. Not because of my own selfish reasons but because he took something away from her that she was born with, an ability that was stripped. There are so many women who just can't have children, that's just the way thy were born and I don't mean to say that a woman's duty is to provide children but It's a good attribute to have if you want them. So many women want them so bad but they just can't, Bey could. He stripped that from her. Why? Because he didn't want a child! Because he was a good for nothing Bitch! That's why. He didn't think about her and I don't think he ever did. All he thought about was power and control and a wet dick. 

Gosh I wanted to kill him. How could you treat someone like that? It didn't make any logical fucking sense! 

I sighed. It wasn't very late at all, maybe sometime in that afternoon, but it was snowing heavily and very cloudy as you could imagine. Paris was covered in a layer of white snow and I watched the snowflakes fall delicately. It was calming but it wasn't fucking working. The air was crisp and my body was cold. I hadn't intended on coming back up here until I walked out of the hotel room and found my way up the stairs. I wasn't really wearing any more than a shirt and jeans but I didn't want to go back. I didn't want to look her in the eye knowing what that man had done to her. It made me want to kill him even more. 

"My mother said that when you're angry or upset or hurt just look at the sky" I heard from behind me, I knew that Texan voice all too well. "Because it's Blue" She finalised. 

"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked her, she began walking over to me and I felt her wrap a blanket around my shoulders as she stood beside me. I looked over at her just a little and noticed she hadn't brought one for herself.