The Planet of Retarded Possums And Other Majestic Shit

HOLY CRAP IT ACTUALLY WORKED

It was dark. Everything was dark. Except for the small blue light that seemed to be off in the distance. Steve rubbed his eyes, realizing he was floating. No, maybe he was falling. He didn't know. "Where are we?!" yelled Hazmat Raccoon.

"We're in the Plane Of Theory!" Dr. Clarissa/Vicky yelled back. "The Plane of Theory?" Steve heard Shane ask.

"Yes, the Plane of Theory, its the second part of our interdimensional space bending trip! We have passed through the first half, where things physically manifest, but now here in this plane is where we are tearing through to the void!"

"Well how do we get out?!" said Shane, who was frankly still quite worried about Bean and her little elevator escapade. Suddenly, a piercing scream was heard, and the darkness turned into light, and the four friends suddenly found themselves in the sky. In freefall.

If you ever find yourself hurtling towards earth at a rate of approximately 9.81 m/s [squared] (or more for whatever reason), there are a few things you should know.

1. Grabbing onto your friends who may also be in freefall does not save you and just shows how much of a dick you are

2. Death will be instantaneous, so don't worry about hitting the ground and being in pain because your sorry ass won't make it

3. Screaming, while it does nothing, can be an effective stress reliever

4. Embracing your unavoidable death is your only option

and 5. If you don't pass out from falling at almost supersonic speeds, bring some snacks cause it will take a few minutes before you die.

At this point, Hazmat Raccoon had passed out and Shane was basically trying to commit suicide because "falling was the poor man's way to die", although Shane himself lived in a cardboard box so he really couldn't say much. Dr. Clarissa/Vicky, tried to remain calm and suddenly looked at Steve. "Steve get on my back!" she exclaimed. Steve, confused, did as she said. "I didn't know you were into this kinda stuff!" he yelled.

Dr. Clarissa/Vicky grabbed Hazmat Raccoon and Shane and threw them on her back too, and they plummeted to the ground.

"What the fuck is her plan?!" Shane yelled.

And then they hit the ground.

To the foursome who had just gone splat on the ground, nothing happened. Well, they were all knocked out from the blow. To anyone else in the surrounding area, it would've appeared that a small bomb went off at the group's point of impact.

After a while, they started to wake up. Shane rubbed his eyes and scratched his head. Steve woke up too and glanced around. "Are we dead?" he asked

"If we were dead we would know," groaned Hazmat Raccoon, who was brushing the dirt off his tail. The three looked around, and noticed Dr. Clarissa/Vicky straightening up her lab coat. "It's about time you guys woke up," she said. "Dr...how did we survive that?!" yelled Steve.

With a simple motion of her hand, the doctor pointed at her huge ass titties.

"Oh yeah that makes sense," Hazmat Raccoon said nodding, "those must be German engineered".

"The Germans do make very good implants," Steve nodded too. A player like Steve would know from having motorboated so many bitches.

"So wait, you mean to say that our impact, which surpassed Mach five speeds and would've almost definitely caused the complete destruction of our bodies, was only lessened cause you got a boob job using your sugar daddy's money back in 2014?" said Shane.

"Pretty much".

"Alright then".