Missed by a Tad.

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It felt good to wake up in a familiar place, the smell, the walls and the company. I had Aaron at the foot of my bed hawking at me.

"You haven't been here all night?" I grumbled.

"Kinda, just making sure you're still here." He looked lost. "I-I find it hard to believe you didn't care about me and how I felt with you gone. Is it always about Zak?"

"Aaron" I brought me knees to my chest and held them tight. "I can't imagine what I've put you through." And as I went to speak he cut me off.

"You must! This isn't the first time you've ran off and come back, Roni I told you that you leaving is breaking me. I can't imagine what could happen to you!" He started to yell causing my body to shiver.

"I'm sorry." I gulped. "I'm a truly horrible friend."

"Roni ahhh-- I just can't lose you. You're my world and when you're MIA it freaks me out. You have to understand where I'm coming from?" He sat down beside me. "You slept. That's a good sign."

"I did actually umm it feels good too. You're dressed? Where you off to?" I snuggled into his neck.

"Zak's coming by, then we are heading off to the museum." One.. two... three panic has set in.

"What! Here? Please no!" I rolled off the bed and locked the door shut. "You promised me you'd wait until I was ready! Please Aaron" I clawed at my own neck in anxiety. I could feel the air being sucked away from me, slowly but surly.

"Calm down!" Aaron hugged me from behind. "No one knows anything, okay. He is just popping by, stay upstairs and we'll be fine okay?" He reassured me, I looked into his eyes and he was telling the truth. I calmed myself down and smiled.

"Okay." I smiled.

"You hungry? You need anything done?" He offered.

"I'm starving, please." He took my hand and pulled me towards the kitchen and stared to cook me lunch.

"So with Seattle, how did you and Helen speak?" Oh right... I forgot he didn't know.

"She caused that phone call that Sonya made. She wanted me with Carter to pull me away from my life here, but then it didn't work blah blah blah I hit Sonya. Then Helen found me and we spoke. I gave her help but her cancer was too advanced for any help so she committed suicide."

"Roni" Aaron dropped the plate and it smashed into little pieces scattering the kitchen floor. "Are you okay?" He froze, I felt like he was waiting for me to cry, waiting for me to express my love for Helen but nothing.

"I've dealt with worse. It's a tragedy she's gone but what was I supposed to do?" I shrugged.

"Roni that was your mother."

I stopped and froze, thought about what he said then I started to laugh. Mother pfft. Really.

"Yea okay Aaron." I just nodded. I went to get the broom to clean the mess and I heard a car roar up the drive way, a very familiar roar. It was Zak.

"Oh fuck" Aaron whined. "He is early, hurry upstairs!" He shoved me to the staircase.

"Fuck!" I stomped upstairs and locked myself in the spare room right next to the stairs.

"Oh fuck" I heard Aaron moan as he unlocked the door.

"Hey." I've missed that voice, my heart melted then broke well shattered. I wanted to jump out of the room and into his arms but I know he wouldn't catch me and I don't blame him. I was standing in the middle of calm and chaos; I could choose to run downstairs and cause a ruckus or stay where I am and leave Zak alone.

.. So I chose to stay.

ZAK's POV

"Anything?" I looked at Aaron hoping he'd have an answer for me, something like yes she is alive, yes she is back and maybe just maybe yes she's behind you but nothing. He shrugged his shoulders and avoided looking at me.

"Dude she left without a trace. Are you sure you wanna be with her?" His eyes wandered the room yet never met mine.

"I deserve to know that she is still breathing. She might've left me and you and her whole life her but I need to know she is okay. She is the love of my life and I can't find her!" I slammed my hand on the kitchen table.

"She is okay." He mumbled.

"What? Say that again.. louder!" I demanded.

"She. Is. Okay." He sounded it out for me.

"Yo-you've spoken to her?" I spat out.

"Last night. Pay phone, she called to say she's okay and that's it." Aaron was distracted by his phone ringing. "Gimme a minute" he excused himself.

"Thank god" I whispered to myself.

I got out of my seat and walked around while waiting for Aaron, as I strolled past the staircase a familiar smell hit me. It smelt of Roni, sweet with a hint of darkness. I felt the energy circulating my body, I was intrigue with the smell and soon found myself pacing up the stairs.

"Is anyone here?" I called out. I slowly made my way in and out of the bedrooms and soon found myself frantically looking for Roni like she was here. Something was pulling me up here, what was it?

"Dude dude dude!" Aaron came rushing up. "What are you doing?" He seemed paranoid.

"I smell Roni" I sniffed again and followed the scent.

"She isn't here Za--Zak she ain't here!" He shoved me hard enough to annoy me. "I did her laundry and used her detergent. That's what you smell. I'm sorry dude."

"I'm a mess" I shook my head to laugh but I didn't realise tears had started to stream down my face. "I just miss her." I gulped.

Aaron patted my back and lead me back downstairs. I need to face it, Roni wasn't coming back. I was a fool to think she would.

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