New girl

Chapter 11

James' POV

So Riley invited me in, I couldn't resist, no ones here and she has no food in here. I notice a bottle of champagne on the kitchen counter that has been fully drunk. Wait, has she had alcohol when she knows she's pregnant. I watch as Riley frazzles around trying to find food, she looks beautiful even when she's stressed. I can kinda tell she's glowing now, it's not obvious but damn she looks good.

Will I be a good dad? Or should I just leave when I have the chance. I can't, I'll break her heart. James your irresponsible and a king, why would you let this all up for some stupid girl and a stupid baby? Maybe because I love her and I love our mistake and the way she looks at me and smiles at me and...

"James!" Riley snaps her fingers in my face catching my attention, I focused on her for a moment.

"What is it?" I ask curiously as to why she wants my attention.
"There's no food wanna go food shopping, I'm starving!!!" She says pouting at me. She's so damn cute how could you say no to Riley Raymond.
"Sure, you might wanna change.." I tell Riley as she is in a skimpy devil outfit, I didn't even dress up because well I'm James and I can do whatever the fuck I want.

•••••

Riley's POV

I head upstairs to get dressed, I take a deep breathe and pull out my lulu lemon yoga pants, a sports bra and a hoodie. I head into my bathroom and strip down naked. I just stare at my body, how did I become so ugly, fat and unattractive. I was Riley Raymond, in England I got what I want, when I want. Now this, I'm fat and I'm gonna get fatter and no boys will like me.

I sigh putting my clothes on, tying up my hair and grabbing my white huaraches and walking down stairs. I see James just scrolling on his phone, I put my shoes and socks on and head into the kitchen. I got in the safe in the medicine cabinet and take out $200. I mean I better get enough to last a while because I probably won't be going out again.

"Ready!" I say faking a smile, he smirks gently at me and nods. We head to his car and drive.

••••

We arrive at target, I get a trolley as we head in. I don't know what I need but this whole pregnancy thing makes me want to die. I'm just so hungry all the time, I can't eat more or people will catch on. We walk around for a bit in silence, James stares at me every so often. It's cute, I can't be with him, not now, not ever. It's like he has this magical spell over me though.

"Hmm so whatcha needing?" James asks trying to avoid the silence, that I oddly liked. I shrug, I'm just gonna pop what ever I want in my cart. I mean my parents are never there so why should I care about that stupid diet they put me on.

"I'm just hungry, I've not ate since...." I think about it, I haven't ate in ages actually.

"Haven't ate since when?" James asks concerned. I stare at the floor continuing to walk forward. I take deep breaths in and out, not wanting to say anything.

"Riley since when?!?" James says angrily. I sigh, looking him in the eyes.

"Since like.... 2 weeks ago...i think, I'm not too sure..." I say biting my lips, I feel a limp grow in my throat. He takes my hand and runs tiny circles into the palm of my hand. His face softens ever so slightly and he smiles at me sympathetically. I look at him for a minute until I forcefully fill him into a hug. I feel a few tears slip down my face, I sniffle fixing myself, letting go of him.

"Riley why haven't you been eating, surely that isn't good for the baby?" He says, I just shrug moving on. All I can think about is Daniel and Michelle, slobbering all over each other. I loved him, now he's gone.

"Em I don't want the baby.." I say as a soft whisper, hoping he'd here it, secretly not wanting him to hear.

"What do you mean?" He questions me again, I sigh and stop the cart just starting at him. I'm so fed up with answering myself to other people.

"I mean I can't do this, can we talk about this at home.. please" I say, he nods as we head round and get the shopping.

••••••

James' POV

I'm sitting in Riley's living room, im thinking about many things really. Why her and Daniel aren't together, what she's going to do with our baby and why she hasn't been eating. She's taking a shower so I'm just sitting down here. I put all her shopping away for her and we're about to head to mine so I can pack a bag and stay at hers. She said she doesn't want to be alone and I wouldn't leave her, especially in the state she's in. She's been in the bathroom for a while now, it's kinda odd. I walk up the stairs slowly.

Riley's POV

I stand in the shower feeling worthless, pathetic, ugly, fat and a disappointment. Maybe if I leave then everything will be ok, no one will miss me right. I look at my razor and can believe what I'm about to do. I take the blade off and stare at it for a while. I look at my wrist and contemplate on if I should do this.

I take a deep breathe and place the freezing cold blade to my wrist. I drag it along, closing my eyes at the stinging pain. I deserve this right, I'm not with being apart of this world. I feel tears come down my face but I leave them. I let them flow as I move further down my arms. I sit as the bloods flows out of my wrists. Maybe I should just die, all my problem would be gone right?

"Riley is everything alright in here?" I hear James shout through the door. I sigh getting up and turning the shower off. I grab my sheer robe and walk out my bathroom.

"Yeah sorry, I got lost in my thoughts..." I apologise, he nods just staring at my body.

"It's fine I was just worried that's all.." he says smiling at me. I smile back and I feel the urge to kiss him. I want someone to love me, to hold me, to tell me everything is going to be ok.

I wrap my arms around his neck and stare at him. I feel his hand on my waist. I hug him tightly, suddenly kissing his neck leading up to his face. I remove one hand to undo his belt and jeans. I pull them off him and pull his t-shirt off. We kiss some more and god it feels great. I let my robe fall off and his hands roam my body freely. I grab him moving him closer to my bed. Slipping his boxers off and a condom on we head into my bed. We kiss and kiss.

"James make me feel good, that everything is ok.." I beg

"Are you sure..." are the last three words and he works his magic..