New girl

Chapter 18

Rileys POV

My head pulls away from his and he wipes my tears away with his thumb. A small smile creeps on my face and I lean my head on him. The camera men come closer and I want them gone. I gulp hard, getting up. I grab James' hand and lead him back out of studio B.

"What's wrong?" James husky voice whispers in my ear.

"I don't want them around right now" I whisper back and keep walking. He walks with his hands on my waist. James' and I have a lot to work on before this baby comes because it's gonna be a lot of work and we aren't going to have time for each other. Not like we used to.

We get to his truck and drive back to his place. I stare out the window and he places his hand on my thigh. I know james won't want to be with me when the baby comes. It'll take over my life, out life and I'll be too stressed to even talk to him. The drive is long and silent. No words creep out of mine or his mouth. I want him and I don't want to push him away but maybe this kiss worried me too much about what's to come.

"Riley.." the silence gets interrupted by his voice.

"James.." my reply is short and soft.

"Are we ok?" I gulp down at his question, I breathe heavily knowing we aren't. We never are.

"I'm not sure.." I lean my head back against the window. Unsure of what's to come.

"Will we be ok though?" He questions again as if to say he wants reassurance.

"I don't know.." I look at him, his eyes fixated on the road.

"Do you want us to be ok?" I hear the worry laced in his voice and I bite my lip knowing my answer.

"I don't know..." the words echo through the car as I finally tell him the truth.

"What, are you serious Riley.." anger starts to echo through his voice and I feel myself tear up again.

"James, when this baby comes everything is going to be different. We are going to be different and I don't want that I want the old us. Without a baby, without the responsibility. I don't think your ready for this... I don't think I'm ready.." the last part comes out barley as a whisper. I never even considered abortion when James found out because I thought we could be a happy family. Know I'm not sure I can handle this or he can.

"What are you saying, you want an abortion?" His voice becomes louder due to the anger.

"I don't know, maybe but I don't want this. I want it to be a dream and wake up and have my old life back. I want you to be happy with me again like I was with you" my voice rises levelling with his to show how much he's stressing me out.

"I am happy.." his statement sounds more like a question and in this moment I know he isn't. We put on this facade and we aren't happy not with this baby. We're too young.

"If you were happy you wouldn't of kissed Beth and hid it from me"

"I thought we were over this Riley, you wanna know why I'm not happy because of this. Because of you" it was the answer I knew all along but I didn't wanna hear. I nod not as if he could see because his eyes never left the road that whole conversation.

"I know.." it comes out as a whisper, my voice breaks because my heart broke. I loved him I did but I can't do this.

"This is silly James we can't keep the baby, we aren't happy anymore, we aren't in love"