My Second Life (Kian Lawley FanFiction)

Chapter 16 - Panic Attack

Chapter 16 - Panic Attack

I woke up, in pretty much the same position I had fell asleep in bar the fact that my boyfriend, Can I use that term? Wasn't here anymore. I looked around his room and saw nothing that remotely looked like another human life form but that could have something to do with the fact I wasn't wearing my glasses and I had no Idea where they were.

I climbed out of bed to look through my bag to see if my glasses had been chucked in there with all my other crap and to my surprise they actually were for a change and so was my phone, but that was useless to me as it had no battery and I had no charger, nor did I know where Kian's was.

I took my toothbrush and sneaked to the bathroom, using the loo and then brushing my teeth so I didn't have morning breath. When I walked back into Kian's room he was still nowhere to be found and there was no romantic note left to tell me where he had gone. 

I walked downstairs after chucking my stuff back in my bag to be greeted by a smiling Connor. "Nice shirt." He laughed and I then realised I was still wearing Kian's shirt... Oops. "Where is Kian?" I asked confused and embarrassed. "He had to go out as he wanted to make you breakfast in bed but then realised he didn't know what you liked, so was going to make pancakes because everyone likes those but then realised we had none of the ingredients to make them." Connor Laughed.

I chuckled slightly too and then thought about how cute he was being. I was starting to get cold though in just Kian's t-shirt as the boys loved to have their air conditioning predominately on the highest setting.

"I'm gonna go get dressed but I'll be back in a minute." I casually stated turning around and heading back up the stairs to Kian's room. I shut the door and quickly stripped down to my underwear and then changed my panties for the clean ones I had in my bag before putting the cute outfit, I had on yesterday. I didn't have a hoodie with me and as I was still cold I picked up the grey one that was chilling on Kian's floor along with all his other clothes and put it on.

It smelled like him and I started to miss him, he hadn't been gone long but it felt like he was taking forever. I took my camera out and began to vlog a little. 

"Hey dreamers so it is actually the next day... I know I was pretty poor at vlogging yesterday but I was on prescribed drugs that made me really drowsy so I pretty much just fell asleep, had dinner and then went back to bed again. Now you may or may not realise I am not in my usual filming area as I am at Kian's house about to film with him as the last time we tried to film for his channel we had technical issues which was we never turned the microphone on so this is take two. But we may change the video as I didn't really like what we did much and it just seemed weird. Also I am wearing my glasses as I don't have an opticians here yet to be able to get new contact lenses since I lost mine and I also need a spare pair of glasses as I lost mine this morning as well. Today hasn't really been going great so far but maybe it will get better later. But until then I'm Lola laws, keep dreaming and I will see you dreamers tomorrow!!! BYE!!!"

I turned my camera off and then inserted the card into Kian's computer I thought I could edit while I waited for Kian to come back. I mean we used the same software and it would give me time to charge my camera. I plugged my charger into my camera and left it to charge while I began to edit. It took me about an hour to edit and upload it and Kian still wasn't back. I was starting to worry and my anxiety was starting to creep back in. I hadn't had a panic attack in a good few months now but I was starting to feel one come on. My chest started to get tight and I felt like I couldn't breath. I tried to pant to keep my breathing steady but it wasn't really working. 

My chest got tighter, to the point where I honestly felt I couldn't breath. I began to cry hysterically which didn't really help my breathing. I tried to get up and slowly walked out of his room down the stairs. I felt faint near the bottom and decided to sit. I still couldn't breath and was making weird noises, Connor ran over to me asking if I was alright but I was to busy trying to breath to reply. He called an ambulance which turned up 10 minutes after. 

The paramedic came in and asked me my name. I still couldn't reply and had been in the state of not breathing very easily for about 20 minutes. The paramedic gave me oxygen and said I should go to hospital for a check up to make sure there was no other problems causing me to be like this. I climbed into the ambulance while Connor followed suite, Camera in hand. He was trying to call Kian and when he finally got a hold of him, he began to freak out down the phone and told him to meet us at the hospital.

His freakout didn't help me, it made me worse as I was now worrying about Kian and I had this image of him recklessly driving around LA to get to me. Once we arrived at the Hospital I was asked random questions about my personal life and whether I had, had a panic attack before. I said I used to get panic attacks a lot but haven't had one this bad in years.

Kian finally came rushing into the room I was sat in with tears rolling down his face. The doctor said she would take some bloods to make sure a panic attack was all it was. I nodded as she left the room. Connor sat down on the chair next to me as Kian took me into his arms. My breathing began to slow almost back to normal at this point which made me feel a lot better. He kissed my forehead and the asked what happend. I told him I was worried about him and then all of a sudden boom I couldn't breath.

He kissed my forehead again before I asked him if I could borrow his camera as mine was in his room still. He laughed a little and smiled passing it over to me. I took the oxygen mask off and began to vlog, my breathing still sounded a little weird but not as bad.

"Hey dreamers so this morning was a little more eventful than I may have let on in yesterday's vlog ending. I just had a major Panic attack which I haven't had in years but I wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy as they are just horrible. Pretty much your chest gets tight and you cant breath, so I managed to make it to this poop nugget." I pointed the camera at Connor who tried to smile but still looked scared as hell. "Before I died on the floor as Kian had left for supplies but he is here now." I smiled as I pointed the camera at him. He looked all red and puffy like he had been crying and looked almost sick with worry. 

"But I am going to be fine, the doctor is going to take some blood to make sure and then I am going to go to Will's quickly to tell him and my dad. Haha speak of the devil her is the doctor so I will speak to you guys soon." I turned the camera off and gave it back to Kian who filmed me having my blood taken. My breathing was pretty much back to normal now and the results came through pretty quickly. I was given the all clear and was allowed to leave. I got the camera back from Kian as we left. 

"So I am fine there is no need to worry dreamers, I was given the all clear and got told not to over do it today to take things slowly and with care. So now to Will and RJ's for the fun chat and explaining I'm A OK again." I winked as I turned the camera off. I passed it back to Kian who had texted Will I was coming over. We all climbed into Kian's car and went to RJs apartment. 

When we arrived we all crowded into the apartment and sat down on their sofa as Dobby led on the floor near Will's feet. I explained to them what happened as Worry crossed over their faces, I told them I was fine and that It wouldn't happen again, or at least not that badly for a while. I then sent a quick email to my dad, Said my goodbyes and then left to go back to the O2L house. 

When I got back Kian wouldn't let me out of his sight. He helped me back up to his room and plopped me onto his bed where he laid next to me. "You really scared me today Lola." He said as a tear rolled down his cheek. I had never seen him in this state, never seen him so scared for something that you could tell he cared about. I wiped his tear away and softly placed a kiss on his lips. He rolled over to look at me. "I'm sorry but you worried me as you left with no warning and you were gone for hours, that made my anxiety flare up which caused my panic attack..." I said calmly.

Guilt began to spread over his face and he began to look really depressed. "I'm sorry, I sent you a text but I'm guessing your phone is dead as I didn't offer you a charger, so you probably didn't get it did you?" He asked almost in a whisper. I shook my head again as I took my shoes off and pulled the covers up. I was cold yet again. He took me in his strong arms again muttering his sorry's and then said "I like your hoodie, it suites you and you look super cute." He laughed knowing damn well it was his.

I laughed to and told him to stop apologising that I was fine as long as I was here with him. We took a nap, I remember falling asleep in his arms, his big strong arms and being wrapped up in his amazing scent made me feel a lot more calmer. But the fact that he was here with me made it all a lot better.