A Song of Stars and Ice (GraLu Fanfic)

Chapter 25

Lucy's POV:

I was already looking everywhere for Gray but it feels like he just disappeared into thin air. Gray, can't you make this any easier for me?

I went back to the park and searched for him. My eyes brightened when I saw him standing beneath the tree where we had our first date. I took a deep breath and walked towards him.

Sensing my presence, he turned towards me and looked at me with his confused eyes.

"Hi," I greeted.

"Hi, what are you doing here?" he asked, as he pocketed his hands.

"You? What are you doing here?"

He didn't answer and avoided my eyes "I've been coming here recently. It makes me feel calm,"

I nodded "I see," I took a deep breath "This tree really holds a lot of memories,"

"Yeah, memories that I can't even remember," he turned to me "I want to remember, Lucy. It feels a lot like hell when I walk around and suddenly have this strange feeling that I did something in that place yet I can't remember. I feel like I don't even know myself anymore,"

My heart pricked when I saw his sad eyes. This isn't the Gray I used to know. He looks so confused and broken. Maybe it was better if I didn't tell him about what happened.

"Would it have been better if I didn't tell you what happened?" I asked.

He shook his head "No, I'm grateful that you told me. Why are you here, anyway?"

Right, I need to tell him. I almost forgot about that when I saw him looking so lost and confused.

"I'm sorry if I've been acting weird these past weeks," I said.

"It's alright. I understand how it must be so uncomfortable pretending like nothing ever happened between us," he answered "But we're still friends, right?"

"We're just friends?"

"You don't want to be friends with me again? Did I treat you bad during the times we were together?" his eyes were panicking already "I'm sorry if I was a jerk during those times, Lucy,"

I shook my head "No, you were good to me. You didn't treat me badly," I let out a breath "The truth is I...I like you,"

I shut my eyes after that as I wait for his reply. My heart is pounding in my chest and I'm biting my lip. My body is actually shaking. Did I surprise him with my confession?

"Lucy,"

I opened my eyes and saw that he has his head down. I can't read his expression. I suddenly felt embarrassed and I actually feel like a complete idiot. I wish I hadn't confessed to him.

"I...don't know what to say," he cleared his throat and scratched his head awkwardly "Are you sure you're not mistaken?"

Mistaken? Why would I confess if I thought that these feelings I have for him is just a mistake? Gray, you really are an idiot!

"Why would you think that?" I asked in a calmed voice "Do you know how hard it is for me to actually tell you about my feelings?"

"I'm sorry, my thoughts are a mess right now and I can't seem to come up with an appropriate reply,"

"Just say if you like me or not," I finally yelled at him. My chest is about to burst and he is making this difficult.

He flinched by my sudden outburst "I do like you as a friend, but I still have doubts if I really like you more than that. I admit that I've been having these strange feelings when you're around and when you're not but I don't want to put any label on it. Right now, I'm happy that we're friends,"

I bit my lower lip as I fought the urge to cry in front of him. He may think that I'm a pathetic loser if I cry. I am also happy that we're friends and he said that he's having these strange feelings for me. He feels something he's just denying it. Why would you choose to deny what you feel? I felt him coming closer and so I raised my head to face him.

"Am I really just a friend?" I whispered.

"For now, you are. And I don't want to lose this relationship between us,"

So that's it then. He just wants us to stay friends. This is painful. He only views me as a friend but I on the other hand, look at him with something more.

"Okay," I said as I forced a smile to my face "I'll see you around then,"

I didn't wait for his answer as I turned around and left. My tears started to fall as I walked. I didn't even know where I am going. I just know that I have to get away from this pain. I have to get away from Gray and from everything that reminds me of him.

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Hello readers! Just a few chapters left until the not-so-pretty ending.

ComVo!