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Chapter 6: Interrogating The Radio Personality of the Century

Dean looked crisp in his suit as he shut the driver door of the impala. Cas walked next to him as they headed towards the Night Vale Community Radio station.
"Dean"
"Yes?"
"I have some concerns about the plan."
"What is there to be worried about? We go in, we ask him the questions, he gives us the answers. Simple!"
"I understand, but Dean, please." Cas stepped in front of Dean, blocking him from the door. "Understand that this is not a usual town. Night Vale-"
"Is going to be destroyed unless you move your ass and let me through." Dean shoved Cas out of the way and walked into the building.

Cas sighed. "AssButt," he said under his breath, and followed Dean into the radio station.

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Listeners, we have some special guests in the studio today. The sheriff's secret police has sent two officers over to the station to talk with us about an existential crisis. Officers Takei and Altman are here today. How are you?

"Cut the crap and turn off the broadcast. That's an order." Now, normally I don't end a Broadcast this early, but it does seem urgent. Ok, just give me a moment. Listeners, remember this advice. Reality, is just an illusion. The universe, is only a hologram. Invest in gold. Goodbye, and goodnight, Night Vale, goodnight.

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Cecil took off his headphones. His blond hair fell into his face as he turned to face Dean and Cas. "How can I help you officers?"

"We have a couple of questions regarding your broadcast."
"Oh?" Cecil looked surprised.
"Yeah. Just now you said 'goodnight', but it's only 4 in the afternoon."
"It depends on what clock you look at. Besides, time isn't real anyways, so it doesn't matter."

"Now why do I find that so hard to believe?"
"Dean," Cas grabbed his arm. "Drop it."
"No, I'm wondering why you can't get even a half decent watch around here. And my gut is telling me that YOU-" he gestured to the radio host" have something to do with it."
"If your gut is talking to you, you should probably see a doctor."
"SHUT UP!" Dean screamed at Cecil. "I'm the one in charge here, so shut your pie hole and give me a straight answer. Why is time so weird here?" Cas looked extremely worried now.
"Dean, we need to go."
"Hold up, Cas, I'm not done with him yet."

"You're not from the secret police are you," said Cecil quietly. His hair was white and his third eye was squinting at Cas while his other two were staring at Dean.
"What the hell?!" Dean jumped "Wasn't your hair just blond? And now you have tattoos and a third eye and white hair an-"
"Dean, we should leave." Cas tried to pull Dean away from the radio host.

The studio shook, the tables rattled, and the nest of owls in the top corner of the booth started hooting angrily. Cecil's tattoos transformed into real life tentacles.

At this moment, Castiel grabbed Dean and flew him to safety, landing in Old Woman Josie's living room, where Sam was sipping tea and talking to her about angels. As soon as they landed, Dean looked at Josie, said "Ma'am", peed his pants, and fainted.