Hadley: An Ansel Elgort Fan Fiction

Chapter 35

May 24th one day before Ansel's graduation

I was crying. I never cried. Not until Ansel and I had stopped speaking. With Ansel's basketball picture in one hand and a snickers ice cream in the other, snot and slobber dripped onto the dorky heart shaped pillow he bought me for my birthday. He was graduating tomorrow then he'd be off to college and we'd be done for good. I still had a microscopic sliver of hope that he'd show up on my door step in the pouring rain and beg for me back. But he didn't. Not even a phone call or a text for months. God, I felt pathetic. Since when was I such a cliche? Crying over a boy eating ice cream. I finished off the snickers bar and placed his picture and pillow back under my bed where I kept everything that was associated with him: his jersey from last basketball season, his headphones he left in my bedroom in January, the boxers he wore when we first...

I cried harder and louder. So loud Ashton had to come in to calm me down. He was home for the weekend and instead of spending time with him I was sobbing over my ex. After he helped calm me down we went to the drive in movies downtown. I ate even more snickers and laughed with my brother all night as we watched all the Back to the Future movies in the back of his car until 4 in the morning.

On our way home my phone rang.

"Hello?" I answered. It was an unknown number and the caller didn't utter a word, just breathed. "Luke is this you? Shouldn't you be studying for your finals hmm?" I teased him. No answer, and the line clicked off. If he was trying to scare me it wasn't working. When I was with my big brother I felt safe and secure, something I haven't felt with anyone else before, except Ansel. I opened the messages in my phone and typed one up for Luke.

"Nice try I'm onto your tricks Hemmings," I typed with some laugh emojis at the end. He texted back almost immediately.

"What are you talking about Hads?" There was no point in denying it. Who else would call me at 4 am and end the call at the mention of Luke's name?

"I know you called me dude."

"I didn't I'm hooking up with a girl right now. Jealous?" he replied with a winky face. If he didn't call me who did? I was starting to feel uneasy when Ash pulled into our driveway. I noticed Ansel's light was on in his bedroom. Back in the comfort of my room, I watched through my window into his. His blinds were drawn but I could see the shadow of his head and the shadow of a bottle approaching his lips. His head tilted back and he took a long drink. I tried not to worry myself with his well being. He obviously didn't care about me enough to call or text or talk to me at all. I let my body fall back onto my bed and took in the smell of my clean sheets. I still felt sick, gross, and sad. He was so close yet I couldn't get to him. I had too much pride to try to talk to him. He'd be as good as gone later that day anyway, what was the point? I'd probably never see him again.