Violins And Cookies (Phan AU)

The One With The Fight

Things were not good between Dan and Phil.

Dan could sense it but he didn’t say anything.

Sure it was not as bad as before when Phil would just ignore Dan for days on end.

It was more of their fights that would start out of the pettiest reasons and then would end with either of them screaming at each other and then storming out.

And then one of them would apologize and then they would make up.

Dan was tired.

He just wanted a normal relationship. Was that too much to ask for? He couldn’t keep up with Phil’s constant mood swings. It was emotionally distressing.

Dan had never thought he would ever cry for someone until Phil Lester showed up.

And of course the fact that Phil had never said he loved Dan always reminded him that he wasn’t good enough for Phil and he never could be.

There were good times too though. The times when they could simply cuddle and watch a movie together without bickering, or go out to a little date. They were rare but Dan cherished every moment of them. It reminded him of the all the reasons he had fell in love with Phil Lester in the first place.

Everything from his snow pale skin and his contrasting jet black hair and those blue green eyes that Dan could get lost into.  His puns and the way he would laugh with his tongue sticking out. How he would always crack up a lame joke to make Dan laugh. And so many other little things about Phil Lester that left Dan in awe. And he was just reminded how much in love he was with this person.

But did Phil love him back?

***

Dan was alone in his house staring at the green walls of his house and he just realized how much he hated the colour green and how much he wished he could paint them into something different if his landlord let him.

He sighed as he checked his phone again.

There were no texts or calls from Phil.

They had a fight the night, again.

And this time it was Dan’s fault. He was being extra difficult the previous night when Phil had himself asked him out for a date night in some restaurant something which had not happened in a long time.

But Phil had left the decision of choosing the restaurant on Dan.

“Anything is fine” Dan had said.

“Okay so how about Italian?”

“We eat too much of that”

“Thai?” Phil asked.

“I am not in the mood” Dan mumbled barely even looking up from his phone.

“Indian or Chinese”

“That is I don’t know I don’t feel like it”

“So what do you want then?” Phil asked anger laced in his tone.

Dan let out a heavy sigh.

“I told you anything’s fine”

“Well then why don’t you choose?” Phil yelled.

“Why do I have to be the one to choose?”Dan yelled back.

“You always have to be difficult and whiny” Phil said.

“You know what just take me back to home. I wasn’t hungry anyway” Dan said.

And then they drove back to their building and since then neither of them had contacted the other in any way.

Dan regretted it. He had been too moody yesterday. He wanted to apologize to Phil and he wanted to do it in person.

So Dan decided it was best if he saw Phil.

He left his flat and knocked twice on Phil’s door before Phil opened it. He looked mildly surprised.

“Phil can I come in?” Dan asked hesitantly biting his lip.

“Yeah sure” Phil said.

Dan came in and locked the door before sitting on the sofa with Phil.

“Phil I am so...”

“Sorry I know” Phil cut him off. “We’ve being doing this for too long”

“Phil I honestly didn’t mean to be so rude yesterday I was just really tired from work”

“Dan” Phil said. “I think we are not in the best place right now. These fights aren’t healthy for our relationship”

“I know that” Dan said quietly. “And we can fix it if we try”

“I don’t know Dan” Phil said with a sigh.

“What do you mean?”

“I think” Phil said with a long pause. “I think we need a break”

Dan didn’t expect the words to hurt as much as they did. He could feel tears threatening to leak but he held them back. He wasn’t gonna cry in front of Phil.

“All right” Dan said hoarsely.

“I am really sorry Dan” Phil said. “But I think it’s for the best”

“Yeah I understand” Dan said.

Phil smiled as he held Dan’s clenched fist.

He then proceeded to hug Dan and Dan simply hugged him back.

“We are not breaking up. It’s just a break okay” Phil said.

Dan nodded.

Phil leaned in and pressed his lips on Dan’s. Dan kissed him back. He had no idea how long it would be until he could kiss Phil again. The kiss ended too soon.

“I love you” Dan blurted out before he could stop himself.

“I know” Phil smiled.

Dan then stood up smiling ready to leave.

“I’ll see you around then”

“Yeah”

“Bye”

“Goodbye”

Dan walked out of the door and rushed in his home where the tears started flowing.

He felt he was being too weak. But he couldn’t stand the idea of being on a ‘break’. How long would it last? Would they ever even get back?

Exhausted both physically and mentally he went and lied on his bed and soon enough the sound of violin
echoed through his flat.

A/N : Sorry this chapter sucks