Psychiatric Love *on hold*

Chapter 6

Jackie's POV

My hands on my stomach as I heard nothing, but my steady breaths. My mind travelled over to a poem by Percy Bysshe Shellley

"Love's Philosohy"

The fountains mingle with the river

And the rivers with the oceans.

The winds of heaven mix for ever

With a sweet emotion;

Nothing in the world is single;

All things by a law divine

In one spirit meet and mingle.

Why not I with thine?--

See the mountains kiss high heaven

And the waves clasp one another;

No sister-flower would be forgiven

If it disdained its brother;

And the sunlight clasps the earth

And the moonbeams kiss the sea:

What is all this sweet work worth

If thou kiss not me?

This feeling.

This feeling that I haven't felt before in a long long time. No its not love. But something somewhat close. Maybe I've developed a small crush. No Jackie. Crushing on your psychiatrist? It can't be. You hate them.

But Zayn has this. . . . This thing about him that makes my stomach flutter. That makes my heart swell hearing his voice. Or seeing the way his eyes travel amoung his notes as he bites his pen down softly. It's sad that I point out these small things about him.

He wouldn't like a freak like me. A girl who was been put into a mental asylum because of suicidal attempts. A girl who wasn't and still isn't strong enough to care for her self. Forget it Jacquelyn. You might-us-well just forget about this tiny crush cause he has someone in his life. Someone that is gorgeous. Someone he loves. He doesnt want you. He wants Clarie.

A felt hot tears stream down my face as I this time I didn't wipe them away. I classifed already to myself that I was weak. Maybe Matt was right. Hard to say since he's such a douchebag, I was weak. But being weak isn't bad right? Sometime you have to weak?

Weak. Ha. Crying over a small crush? Or my insecurites? Maybe both. I turned over rapidly blinking to wipe the tears away and closed my eyes, letting my mind travel into the wonderful world of memories.

*********

I looked up seeing I'm outside. The cold winter wind hit my cheeks as I smiled. Looking around at the old neighborhood me and Annabel used to ride bikes down. I smelled the air as I turned around. My smile faded seeing Stacy run towards the house. Her face covered in tears as she ran into my house. I quickly went with her as she ran upstairs. My mind racing to whats going on. She went straight into my room going towards the bathroom. Her fist rapidly pounding aganist the door as she cried out.

"Jacquelyn please open up! I-I can't loose you! Espically not like this! Please Jacquelyn!"

I heard my sobs coming from behind the door. Is this what was happening during the whole fiasco?

"Stacy? Stacy can you hear me" I said, but she never turned around. She continued to pound on the door. Her hand pounding louder and louder. Where was my parents? Where was Annabel when this took place? Oh yeah, my parents died and Annabel wasnt there for me.

"Leave me alone!" My past self screamed.

I was like a ghost. No one can hear or see me. I was the fly on the wall. This isnt no flashback. It was a nightmare. I was seeing something I wish never happened. I wanted to leave, wake up from all this. Stacy had her leg in the air as she kicked the door down. I followed her inside as she slapped the pills out my hand and she grabbed me. And hugged me as she swayed me back and forth like a baby. I cried into her shoulder as she did also. Tears going down my face as I wanted to leave.

I seen my bedroom door open revealing a guy dressed in black. No way of figuring out who he was. His hand going out of his pocket revealing a black gun pointing towards Stacy. He cocked the gun and aim, shot, fired. The room echoed to Stacy's body colliading with the floor. My screams caught in my throat. His ripped off his ski mask. My eyes widen as he smirked at me. His eyes looked up and down my body as he smirked.

"Hello Jackie, darling."

"My god."

"What so surprised?"

"Th-This is a dream. I didnt even know you."

"No Jackie baby, no. Its me. Zayn." He aimed the gun ome more time as I screamed hearing the gun fire again.

I jumped up screaming my heart out. Guards came in as they tried to help me but I couldnt stop shaking. I couldn't stop screaming. I was so shaken up. I felt a pain in my neck as my eyes began to feel droopy. Darkness came as I felt my head droop to the side.

*******

"Is she awake?"

"I dont know you should check."

I heard the cell door creak open as I heard foot steps. My nose filled with cologone as i reconized the scent. I quickly got up and brought me hands to my knees. I want him no where near me. I was terrified of him. Why couldn't he leave. He already left thirty minutes before our session was over and then my dream. Did it mean something? No it couldn't have. Zayn's nice to me. He wouldn't dare hurt me. But i sat in my room crying yesterda cause he thought of something else about me. Something that was a lie probably.

"Hey." He said sitting down.

I just stared at him. It's like day one of these session. Everyone is quiet. He did one of those awkward coughs as he looked at me. His hazel eyes giving me a sympathy look as h looked down at the notes.

"So how are you?"

"Why'd you leave me?" I sounded like a clingy girlfriend.

"W-What?"

"Yesterday you left me. We still had thirty minutes till our session was up? Why? Why'd you leave?"

"Be-Because I um. . ." He was lost at words. I can tell he was trying to make up a lie to me.

"If you were upset from what I told you--"

"No Jackie, I care about you okay? There I'm sorry I stormed out, but I just thought of the worst. I judged you before I actually knew the whole story. I really want to apologise on that. I shouldn't have stormed out thinking the possible worst."

"You know . . . I was a college girl who went to frat parties and stuff, but I knew I was careful."

"I know, I should've let you finish."

I just nodded as we just sat there in silence.

*********

Hey guys :)

So this is semi-late since I am typing this on my phone :/

But I am on vacation so yeah . . .

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOUIS TOMLINSON ♥♥

Can't believe it 22 years old already? Just yesterday he was 21 . . (Cause he was! See my little joke there? No? Okay.)

Anyway thats it bye ;)