Psychiatric Love *on hold*

Chapter 5

Previously on Psychiatric Love. . .

"You said that was the last time you saw her. What about the funeral?"

"I didn't see her because I was sitting in the back. I seen them, my parents, in their casket. Annabel was talking to other guest probably friends of my parents. When I looked into their faces I cried and ran out. I started to shake and cry uncontrollably. I threw up also from crying so hard."

"Does she know you're here?"

"No she doesn't. And she probably wouldn't care either."

***********

"Why do you think that?"

"I honestly dont think she cares. I was represented in the wrong crowd at college and look where that ended me. I'm probably sure magazines made me look either psychotic manic. I'm the cause of my parents death and the cause of Stacy's death."

"But you didn't kill them?"

"Yes, but I was accomplice to the murder. I knew the plan, but I didn't know who."

"So why aren't you in jail?"

"I already served some of my time. Once I'm out of here, whenever I'm good, I'd probably do the rest of it. It's very confusing."

"Yes very, and me being a psychiatrist 'in training'," he winked at means I smiled, "I may have made some things that weren't as clear to me. So if I'm correct tell me." I nodded as he proceeded.

"You attended Oxford University right out of high school correct?" I looked up slightly trying to remember. This is crazy I don't remember that well. This place has really took a toll on me.

"Yes that's correct."

"In your folder you were going for Creative Writing?"

"Yes." I smiled down to the floor remembering the amazing writings I've created. Writing was my only escape. If I could have them here, my journal would've been filled cause of my imagination.

"Now tell me when did you get into this wrong crowd?"

"I attended the wrong crowd before college Zayn."

"Really?"

"Yes sadly. Annabel was always that girl who always got straight A's, did their work, etc. I on the other hand was about an A B student I guess. I was average lets say, yet I hung with the wrong crowd. People who would do drugs, fail almost every class. It was kind of hard cause I was like the little angel, the Virgin Mary in the group."

"What about Stacy," My mind travelled at all the memories we had.

"Stacy, well, she was more on Annabel's side of friends. But she wasn't her friend, she was like Annabel."

"So tell me Jackie, have you ever done any of the things your friends did?"

My breath hitched in my mouth as he stared at me waiting. I didn't want to answer that questions cause my answer was a yes. I did almost all the things they did. I did drugs, I drank alcohol till I threw up, the only thing I didn't do was be a whore. I didn't go around having intercourse with every guy I see. I knew I was better than that.

"Y-Yes," Zayn's eyes widen as he almost dropped his pen, "B-But it's not like I-I did anything to bad."

He nodded and continue writing. I fiddled with my fingers as I waited. My heart thumping out of my chest as this wait was killing me inside.

"Well my time is up. I'll see you later Jackie." He smiled as he gathered his things and left. My mouth hung low as I saw his head hang low. I was so . . . So shocked. I mean it's not like I didn't do anything wrong.

'You did drugs, drank alcohol. He probably thought you were a party animal who sleeps around.'

Is that maybe what he thought of me? A party animal who goes around with anyone? A tear fell down my cheek as I quickly wiped them

Don't cry, crying was for the weak. And you Jackie are not weak.

Zayn's POV

As I stomped though the hall ways seeing friendly co workers say a few 'Hi Dr. Malik.' I just couldn't get what Jackie said out of my head. Why am I so mad? She's not my child or my girlfriend, she's my patient. I ask the question and I prepare for what may come out of their mouths. But with Jackie it was different. When she said something it took a toll on me. Everything that came out of her mouth made my heart swell.

Stop Zayn you have a girlfriend.

Oh sweet sweet Claire. Her long blonde hair and green eyes. The way her smile showing that cute little dimple of hers on hr right cheek. It was the same for Jackie. Her dimple appeared time to time when I made a small little joke about some of the nurses. Her brown eyes brightened when she would see me in her room.

But she did drugs, she drank alcohol, and probably had sex with multiple people. My mother always told me Don't judge a book by its cover, but I'm not judging her. Yet, I stormed out of her cell room and went straight into my office. I basically judged her before I could giver her anytime to speak. She even said it's not what I think, but look at me. Debating on whether or not to apologise to her or not for my recent actions.

I stood up getting ready to go back into her cell. My phone vibrated indicating that it was 8:00. My session would've been over right now and guards start locking up all cells and doors. I sighed gathering my things that I'll need for home and went into my car. The cold winter breeze hit my cheeks as I shoved my hands into my pockets. Getting into the car I started it driving home. Passing a few gas stations here and there as I parked into my driveway. Fiddling with my keys my door unlocked revealing Clarie standing at the doorway. Her spandex shorts on and her sports bar on. I looked inside seeing a exercise program on.

"Hey baby." She said kissing my cheek. I smiled coming inside taking off my coat and gloves.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"Well I just got done cooking dinner and now I'm just doing a little exercise. Have to get rid of this little tummy." She said touching her stomach. I looked at her and her stomach was a flat as a board.

"What tummy do you have?"

"This," she grabbed her stomach as she laughed. I chuckled going into the kitchen, "Your food is in the oven, I didn't want it to become cold." I thanked her and sat down at the table. She paused the tv and came to me.

"How was work?"

"Good, long as usual."

"Yeah, how has Jacquelyn been?"

"Her name is Jackie and she's been fine." I rolled my eyes staring down at my food. I know see why Jackie doesn't like that name. I think cause it remind her too much of her past. She told Claire time and time again to stop calling her Jacquelyn. My head is starting to hurt.

"Jackie, Jacquelyn same thing."

"No it's not! She told you to stop calling her that Claire respect her choices please!"

"Alright sorry jeez . . . What did you guys talk about?"

"You know that's illegal."

"Yeah, but . . . It's not like I'm going to say anything."

"I'm going to bed." I pushed my unfinished plate and stood up.

"Zayn I'm sor-"

"No, don't apologise." I walked into my room getting into the shower. The hot water releasing my muscles as I washed my hair. Stepping out putting on my pyjamas. I laid down only having one person on my mind.

Jackie.

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Hey guys sorry I haven't updated in almost two weeks! I feel terrible about it, but I've been busy! So I decided to make a update schedule. Every Monday and Thursday I'll update. I would update on weekends also, but I have now wifi and if I use my phone there would be so many typos. Anyway thanks for reading :)

~Ja'el