Finn thought that after Millie opening up to him, he expected a somewhat change.
But instead, she stayed the same, in a way even more distant.
Millie had built a wall between herself and people. She wasnt rude, but didnt even speak. Her head seemed to constantly be bowing down. Her eyes always seemed to be misty, but she would cover them up with different pairs of Sunnies.
"Hey," he said with a smile after break fast, approaching her. "I heard your boat's okay now."
Millie nodded, not saying a word, and continued to walk in the direction of the beach. She didnt even look at him.
"Erm, Millie are you okay?"
Once again, she nodded curtly and walked quicker, as if trying to avoid Finn. Finn jogged towards her and made her face him.
"Hey, are you okay?" he asked, his face confused. Millie refused to look at him, for she knew that she'd instantly go like the other day, being a pity.
"Im fine." she said firmly, removing his hand from her shoulder, and she walked even faster, almost running. Finn sprinted after her and out of temper, said in a quite agitated voice, "Millie, what's wrong?"
She let out an angry sigh. "I know why you're all kind with me," she spat. "You're not doing this because we're 'friends', you're doing this because you pity me!"
Her words were like bullets, the impact kills you and leaves a mark. The sense of trust that Finn thought they were developing was crushed with Millie's negative outlook and thoughts.
"All along, I thought maybe you really wanted to be friends with me.. but now, I realized that I shouldn't trust you, like how the others do too!" she was crying now, and so was he.
"You.." he was out of words. Until he found the right ones.
"You know your problem?" his voice was a little shrill, his throat raspy. "You dont know love. Or friendship. Or trust. You dont know it, and when someone tries to help you, you push them away!" his fists were balled and his jaw clenched.
"You dont want to understand it yourself," he said quietly. "You yourself don't want to just let go. You hold it in that you tend to already hurt others. Its like a wound you know? People try to give you medicine, to treat it, but you dont allow it because you're scared."
Millie was sobbing painfully as she covered her face with her hands. "You push the people who want to help you," he said tearfully.
"They want to be your shield, but you trick them to be hurt by your words.. your bullets." both looked so broken, so hurt.
One was just not ready, too scared, cowardice taking over. Too frightened for change, for a sudden difference.
The other was getting tired, and you cant blame him. His efforts seem to go to waste, looking like a fool. He's on the verge of giving up because the person who he's trying to help doesnt seem to appreciate it.
Walking away with hurt lingering in the air, and there was a feeling of brokenness between them was so painful.
Friends are people who you do anything for. Maybe the two of them had different definitions of friend.
;
She cried her heart out, no holding back. She let them all out, sobbing all the hurt and guilt. Crying at one corner of her nipa hut, she saw no reason to suppress emotions as of now. She felt so horrible, and Finn's words were like stars, so hard to reach but so beautiful to marvel at.
There was regret lurking in every corner of her mind, a deep part of her wanting to just apologize. But pride held her back, shame as her anchor.
It was hard to let go, hard to move on. It was hard to accept change when you're still in the process of trying to forget.
It's hard to appreicate the night after hours of seeing the sun.
Coward. She was a coward, amd nothing more. Not a star, not a friend, not a daughter but a coward.
short but this shook me tbh ahahah. comment what you feel about this PLEASE i need it hahahaha bc im not very good at writing drama things. im aware people haahah 😭😂 this is to maia, lequeenlaura and lizzie, zeacleo!!! filipino squad slaying 🐼
*Delia mwa 💟
btw. sembreak ends on Monday and i will have to admit i wont be able to update as do now. probably on weekends at the most. PLEASEEE stay patient. thank ya again!,
