Delightfully Chaotic

You're My Wonderwall

Laf and I run as best we can carrying Carmilla on our backs. I'm not sure what they have planned but at this point I didn't care. I was hopeless and lost and running back to Laf's lab was a blur. I didn't even remember laying Carmilla down on Laf's table. Laf took some blood from me for some reason before kicking me out of the lab. I waited outside their lab door picking at my nails while pacing back and forward.

My nerves were shot. My eyes were still burning and the hole in my heart was only growing deeper.

Were they trying to save her? Was that even possible.

Tears threaten to fall.

I can't believe she's gone..

I continue pacing trying not to cry when I hear the door to Laf's lab open. I run to their side but they don't look happy.

"What did you d-do?" I ask with an uneasy voice. Part of me didn't want to know what happened behind that closed door. Another part of me had hope. Hope that reality wasn't ripping at my soul right before me. Hope that Carmilla would walk through that door behind Laf asking for a pack of blood or making a sarcastic remark about the heroic stereotype.

But it was just hope..

Laf sighs removing their blood stained gloves.
"I...I tried Laura."

"Can I see her." My eyes begin to fill with tears. They nod holding the door open for me.

I walk in and go straight to the table. Carmilla's lifeless body laying across it. Her resting face showing no sign of pain or life. I sit in the chair beside the table and place my hands over hers. I burry my head in our hands crying.

Come on Carmilla. Squeeze my hand.

It had been hours since she was killed. There was no sign or possibility of getting her back that I knew of. I clung to her lifeless body as if I was protecting her from the world when in reality... she died protecting me..

I feel a cold hand on my shoulder.

"What exactly did you think you could accomplish by bringing her here Laf?" I say trying my best to keep my voice calm and steady.

They walk around the table and lift Carmilla's shirt a bit revealing some stitches they made over her wound.

"That book.. I um. I ran back here and read through it frantically while you and the dean were busy arguing." They sigh putting Carmilla's shirt back down. "It said if I found the light in the darkness, it had enough power to do absolutely anything. Open the gates, save Carmilla, heck, even take over the world." Laf scratches the back of their neck.
"It was supposed to work!" They slam their fist down on the book hard. I jump at the sudden noise.

"Laf." I place my hand on theirs giving them a small but very sad smile.

"I-I'm sorry. It's just.." they frown. "If it was perr... I'd be going nuts. Researching, stitching her up. Going to the ends of the earth if it meant saving her." They look down at Carmilla's still face. "I know you feel just as much for her as I do for Perr. So I did what I could.. finding the stone wasn't hard. The riddle obviously meant it was hidden in the old observatory. But the ritual." Laf flips to the page in the book. "Waving the stone over her body reciting these words.. they should have worked" they hit their fist against their head again in frustration.

"Laf. Please don't beat yourself up over this.. you tried." I rub my thumb across Carmilla's cold hand. "She loved me. I know that now. She lived for me.. and she.." I gulp. "She died for me.." I stand and give Carmilla's forehead a soft kiss feeling my tears beginning to fall again. "I love her. And I know she would have wanted this. She would have wanted me to stay safe. She didn't deserve this. She deserved better. I'm to blame-"