Jar of Emotions

I'm not the only one

You and me made a vow

For better or for worse

"Wake up! Open your fcking eyes that he is cheating on you! Can't you fcking see? Niloloko mo nalang sarili mo na maaayos niyo pa to!!"

I sobbed as my friend say those words.

We used to be happy.

He loves me I know. For 7 years we used to be the couple that everybody envies.

"Cleo, please give yourself a little love. Give a little space for yourself, please. Hindi ka ganito. Hindi ganito ang Cleo na kilala ko." Naluluhang sabi nito sakanya.

I looked at her with tears on my eyes that I cant.

How can I give when its already empty?

How can I give when I already gave all?

"Please accept my gift for you, cleo."

I looked at the guy who reached a 3 stem of white lilies to me. His hand is shaking.

He is neat and well I like boys who is neat sino ba namang hindi. I can say he's.. Fine.

Tumikhim ito.

He has been around me this past few days. Kaklase ko siya sa mga iilang subject ngayon.And i can't help not to ignore him.

I dont know why. Sa lahat ng nagdaan na boyfriend ko at nagpapalipad ng hangin sakin sakanya lang ako nagka intensyon.

"Why are you doing this?" Tanong ko at hindi ko tinatanggap yung lilies na nasa kamay niya parin. Kahit na gusto ko nang kunin.

"A-ano k-kasi.." Nagkamot ito sa may batok at namula ang pisngi na para bang nahihiya.

I am testing him.

Iba siya sa lahat ng lalaki na sinubukan akong ligawan.

"U-uh. Kasigustokitamatagalnakayangayonakonaglalakasngloobparaliawanka."

Tuloy tuloy nitong sabi na ikinalaki ng mata ko.

I am trying not to smile because of his cuteness and all.

Inilahad ko ang kamay ko na tinignan naman niya.

"H-huh?"

Nagkibit balikat ako. At inilapit ko pa ang kamay ko.

He is darn cute. I think may crush na ako sakanya. Hindi siya katulad ng mga past na boyfriends and manliligaw ko. Masyado silang presko ay straightforward kaya nawawala ang thrill.

Nginuso ko yung flowers at nakuha naman niya at inabot agad.

"Thanks! And i think i have a crush on you. I'll give you a chance." Ngiti ko sabay talikod sakanya.

Nakita kong laglag ang panga nito at nanlaki ang mata. Ni-hindi makagalawa sa kinatatayuan nito.

Nakakalayo na ako nung narinig ko yung sigaw niya.

"YES! Fckshit! YES! You won't regret this, Cleo! THANK YOU!"
Hindi na ako lumingon pero grabe ang ngiti ko sa labi. Inamoy ko yung lilies at may nakita akong maliit na letter dun.

"Thank you for accepthing my feelings."

Napangiti ako lalo. Kung iniisip man ng iba na masyadong mabilis eh wala na akong pake. This feeling I felt is new to me.

"Gavin! Please! Sorry na. Baby booooy." Lambing ko dito na ikinalingon niya at tinignan ako ng matalim.

Napatikom ako ng bibig. I am laughing so hard inside. He is so cute talaga. Nakaka gigil.

"Ganyan ka naman palagi eh. Palagi ka nalang late sa mga date natin. Naghintay ako dun ng mahigit kalahating oras! Ang usapan alas-siyete hindi alas-otso imedya!" Napanguso siya. Hindi ba pwedeng kaya siya na-lilate eh nag aayos talaga siya para sa mahal niya? High blood si lolo niyo oh. Nagkataon pang nagpaplano siya na i-susurprise niya ito sa kaarawan nito.

Niyakap niya nalang ito. Naramdaman niyang na-tense ito sa pagyakap sakanya.

Alam niyang hindi santo ang boyfriend niya na nakakaramdam din ng pangangailangan.

Yes,they make out, they hug, hold hands.Natulog narin sila sa iisang kama pero wala sakanilang nangyayari.

She asked him one time about that when they are on the same bed and he only said that "Ginawa kitang girlfriend ko kasi mahal kita hindi paglabasan ng init. I respect you and i want that to happen after our wedding night, cleo." He said and kissed my forehead.

I am lucky to have him. Who would have thought na maiinlove sakin ng ganyan ang lalaking to? Napaka swerte ko.

"Happy 5th anniversary, Hon. I love you." I said to him when we are having a little alone time in the balcony of his room.

It's already past 12 midnight and we are still up. Drinking some wine.

He looked at me through with those deep set of eyes.

"And i love you more, hon. Thank you for having and accepting me." He said and kissed me under the aky with full of stars.

-To be continued-