Jar of Emotions

Dream 2.1

I was in a chair pretending to be asleep because I don't want to talk to people.

I knew you were staring at me. I can feel it. Or is it just me?

Then I really felt sleepy that time. My eyes are closing but I want to be comfortable. I sat up and tried to sleep again.

You went out. I felt sad because you'll not stare at me.

That feeling, I want that feeling that your eyes, staring at me, those pair of eyes just looking at me.

I will just sleep. I said to myself.

I fell asleep. I dont know how long but I woke up seeing you beside me. I grunted because I want more sleep.

"Uggh."

You looked at me.

"Do you want me to accompany you?" You asked.

I nodded and said please. Maybe because you knew me too well that when it comes to sleep, I don't want to be disturbed. You knew it very well that I really hate it.

We both stood up and walk.

I knew those stares was for us. Maybe they are wondering that why are we both together when we broke up?

I shoved away that thought.

We walked side by side, our hands brushes on each other. Then you stopped.

"Wait, there is a way that will be easy for us to get there." You said while looking at my back.

"A shortcut? Again?" I said smiling because it's funny that you knew many shortcuts.

You nodded and said. "There's a ladder here, wait."

You looked for it and entered a green gate.

I looked around while waiting for you.

This place... This is the place where I grew up. This is the place where I play barefooted, laughed, cry when getting wounds, and being with my childhood friends.

It's not the same anymore. Yes, there's still children playing but only few. Unlike on our time children shouting, running back and fort to the whole street. Today, it's quite silent.

I didn't knew that I was walking then I heard you shout.

"Too bad! It's not here anymore. I think they've closed it already." You said on top and I can't help but to be in shock.

"Love!" I said. I processed the word came out from my mouth and I got shy.

I cleared my throat.

I was searching for you beacuse I can't find you. I looked around and saw you walking towards me waving. I smiled and walked to meet you at the middle.

And as I walk, you are wearing a dark blue shirt paired with pants. This is your signature style. And I am inlove with those. I love every inch, to you, things you do, everything.

We were walking side by side again and I asked myself.

"Why does it feel so damn right?"

The street was noisy with people but my mind was only occupied by you, you, here with me, walking.

We turn left just to see a party.

"That's a great song." I said when I heard the song.

I started singing along as we walk.

"It was great at the very start.. Hands on each other."

"Couldn't stand to be far apart.. Closer the better."

I don't know but it felt like those lyrics was meant for us.

The song continue til you sang too.

"Is it just our bodies? Are we both losing our minds? Is the only reason you're holding me tonight cause we're scared to be lonely?"

Then you looked at me with those eyes.

We sat together on the side of the street. Not minding people.

We were talking things and laughing on it. Until you saw my phone. You took it from my hand and opened it. It welcomed you by a PIN passcode. You type the numbers as if you knew and owns that phone.

I was just looking at you. Your hands went to zero, to one to two, to seven.

You had that goofy smile on your face and let me see my phone that you've opened it.

I chuckled.

You browse through my phone, checking some apps and some stuff. You were scrolling when you saw something that named for boys. You looked at me with forehead creased.

I innocently look at you, what? Is there something wrong when I have pictures of Zach from 13 Reasons why only in trunks? Half naked?

I giggled because you looked cute.

You closed it and went to my facebook because it was open. Ypu browse through it only to see my News Feed with Food tutiorials and some meems.

My head was on your shoulder and you are teasing me because of the pages that I like. Because most of it was food.

"What? What's wrong with that?" I said half laughing. You just laughed and let your arms free, took me in your chest.

We were just like that when you continue to pest my phone.Then you turned it off and kissed me in my forehead. I laughed. You kissed me on my cheeks.

Oh boy, I knew what will he do.

I moved away from him before he kiss me on the lips.

I looked at him and there he is again, wearing that smile. I smiled back at you and pinch you on your waist. You laughed.

I rested again on your chest and you kissed the top of my head and took my hand.

But even these things are happening, theres this feeling that makes me sad. There are thoughts coming from my head.

Why's.

Why are you doing this when you already have her.

Why do you keep on making me fall with everything that you do?

Why does it feel that it's my fault? Is it really?

We agreed to stood up and started walking hand by hand.

I woke up forehead creased.

And as I open my eyes theres a chaste feeling that I am wishing.

I wished that those dreams was long enough for me to be with you.

I sighed with a heavy feeling. I hugged my big teddy bear and try to close my eyes again.

I sighed because I want to sleep again.

But I cant...

I think I will wait for it again. To dream about you.. Again. For us to be together..Just in dreams.

I'll wait for it then, love.